Welcome To Mario Kart
by CAnoApple
Summary: I'm in the mood for doing something silly so here I go re-uploading this 9 chapter story. At least it's not as angst-ridden as my others---(WARNING! I'll get those back up soon!)
1. ch1

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 1

(how MK64 began)

a/n: made some very necessary changes but the story remains the same—simple as it is. I'm just not one of those greatly creative, complex writers but hope you can enjoy it anyway.

**_Watch My Back, I Watch Yours_**

            "Hey, Luigi!  Come here!  Come taste this...it's really good!"

            Luigi was in the living-room watching the Sky channel's marathon of the original series, "Voyage To The Bottom Of The Mushroom Sea" when he heard his brother calling him from the kitchen.  Not really wanting to get up from his favorite soft leather reclining chair in the great room of his rather quaint mushroom abode, he stayed there for a few more seconds—

            "Luigi!  I said come in here and taste this!  Just try it, you'll like it!"

            "...try this...try that...mama-mia..." Luigi grumbled as he pulled himself out of the chair and went to he kitchen where Mario had a plate of something out on the counter, and he watched Mario dig a fork into a piece of meat that looked like either chicken or the other white meat.  And this meat had been dipped into some sort of gravy and smothered in noodles and whatever else.

            "Mmm.." Mario ate like a pig. "..Good!  Very good!"

            Now Luigi, being the skinny brother that he was, had a tough time pretending to be interested.

            "Come on, Luigi! Grab a fork and dig in!" Mario pressed on. "You have to eat if you are going to be involved in long races!"

            "What?"

            "You know, the races."

            Luigi was baffled. "No, I don't know any races."

            Mario stopped gobbling his food, which ended the lip-smacking sound effects.  "Hold it, didn't I tell you about Mario Kart 64?"

            "No. No you didn't."

            "Oh." Mario seemed sneakier than ever before. He put down the fork and wiped his mouth with a napkin then turned to Luigi. "I am buying eight karts. They are all very nice. Even better than the ones we had in the last kart races! I can hardly wait for you to see them. I pay three hundred for each one. Anyway, they have capability of running at 50cc, 100cc, and when we get good, we will go at 150cc."

            "One fifty.." Luigi groveled. "That's deadly."

            "Oh stop being party-pooper.  We will be on roads designated just for the races--well--except for Toad's Turnpike...but we don't need to worry about that right now--"

            "Toad's Turnpike?  Racing?  On Toad's Turnpike?!

            "..And then DK's Jungle Parkway..."

            "What?!"

            "And of course we will have some difficult maneuvers to make on Banshee Boardwalk..."

            "Mama-mia!"

            "But Luigi, we will be able to challenge Bowser directly in battle mode once again!"

            "I don't want to challenge Bowser in battle mode!"

            "You chicken," Mario snapped. "Like...like this right here!" He then stabbed the fork into another piece of meat which at least wasn't a mystery anymore.

            "Chicken, eh?" went Luigi.

            "Yes! Chicken!" Mario held the fork with the cube of chicken on the end in front of Luigi's face. "You're a chicken just like this!  Only a chicken would be afraid to race on Rainbow Road!"

            "Rainbow Road?  Okay, brother.  So tell me, what happens if we go off the course in Rainbow Road?  At those speeds I know there is at least one big hill that we could shoot right off into the sky!"

            "Lakitu."

            "What?"

            "Lakitu. He will pick us up."

            "You are trying to tell me the dead turtle's coming back to lift us up from the sky, kart and all, back onto the tracks?"

            "Exactly."

            Luigi laughed. "Oh HoHoHo!  And you have arranged for all this with...Lakitu?"

            "Exactly." Mario said again.

            "Mama mia, you talk to a dead turtle now!" Luigi turned in a fit of rage and then he stopped on a dime to face his brother. "You are crazy, Mario! You blow twenty-four hundred dollars on these karts just so you can battle Bowser?!"

            "No! No! We all take part in this. For good causes, you know! Feeding starving little goombas and finding good shells for unfortunate little koopas!" Mario explained. "And it is not just about Bowser...it's about winning, period.  And winning is of course what I do best!"

            "You are now interested in feeding little goombas so you can stomp them to death when they grow up..."

            Mario frowned. "That was a low blow, Luigi. Low blow." 

            "So where are these karts you are talking about?"

            "Actually, I haven't paid for them yet.  They are over in Sega Genesisland...you know, where they make some of the most popular games in the world...of course they have learned a lot of what they know from Nintendo...  Anyway, I talk to this nice young fellow named Sonic--"

            "The hedgehog?"

            "Yes. He told me about some karts for sale by some guy named Doctor Robotnik.  If he's a doctor, they must be pretty good.  Anyway, we go over there today to take a look at them, eh?"

**_The Princess' Journal_**

            Dear Dairy,

            Mario told me yesterday that he is thinking of one day building a house near the Kalimari Desert. I can't understand why in the world he would want to do this, especially when I've always thought he wanted to live here, in the Royal Mushroom Palace. Isn't this good enough for him, or is he shunning it because it so old?  This palace has been in my family more than fifty years. It has been photographed by Grand Traditional Places of Mushroom Kingdom Magazine and was used as a model for a company called Nintendo, who makes games for people in a place far, far away from here. And even Mario has been very beneficial in keeping up our palace by fixing pipes and walls and floors and whatever else we've needed. Sometimes I wonder just how long I should wait for Mario to decide on just what he wants in life. Sometimes I think I should have kept seeing his brother, Luigi.  After all, Luigi was so very special to me.  Princess Daisy doesn't know how lucky a woman she really is. 

--Peach

            "Your purse, Princess?"

            "Hmm?  Oh, Toad. I wasn't expecting you. How long have you been standing there?"

            The little round mushroom guy stood with a smile. "Not long. Your purse, Princess."

            "Actually, I didn't ask for it."

            Toad nodded and spoke in his squeaky little voice. "I know, but Mario just called and told me to get you ready because he's taking you shopping."

            "Oh..." the Princess blushed. "How nice. I hope he's taking me to that nice new Portabello mall."

            Toad continued helping the Princess get ready and kept her company until Mario arrived.

            Despite popular belief, Mario Mario doesn't have to run everywhere he goes, as a matter of fact, in his spare time he enjoys taking long drives with Princess Peach Toadstool in his very sharp metallic blue, five-speed, James-Bondish two-seater that he simply refers to as "The Sportster" and speaks of it as "a finely tuned machine with a very powerful engine that purrs."

            Toad stood outside the castle waving and jumping up and down as he saw the car in the distance. "He's here!"

            Princess Peach came outside just as Mario pulled up and got out of the car.

            "Hello Toad!" said Mario. "Hello my lovely Princess Toadstool! I hope you can be gone for a while because this is going to be a long trip."

            "I'm ready when you are." she said dreamily.

            "Ok, then let's go!"

            Mario first got the princess seated and strapped in, being the gentleman that he was, then he went back around and opened the driver's side door.

            "How about you, Toad? You go too?"

            "Ahhahaha..." Toad laughed.

            "Mario!" Peach called from inside the car.

            "Yes, he can come too. This is something very important--"

            "But Mario." went Peach. "He has to stay here to watch the castle. You know that."

            After a little bit of thought, Mario looked at the little guy and shrugged. "So, we lock up the castle for while...hang a note on the door..."

            "Ahahahaha!" Toad cackled.

            "I don't think so!" Peach crossed her arms in a snit.

            "But Peach, this is something extremely important, and I wouldn't want to pick the wrong size--" Mario slapped a hand over his mouth knowing he had let out too much information, but the princess, she looked like she was suddenly in total heaven.

            "Size?" she asked. "You have to pick the right size?"

            "Well...uh.." Mario stammered. "...yes...we do... But we don't need to go into details now, ok?"

            Peach gazed at Mario with her eyes twinkling and thought to herself—  _this is it   he's ready to buy the ring!_

            Meanwhile, Mario went ahead with his plans.

            "There is a little space for you right back here." he said as he pulled the driver's seat forward for Toad.

            And the little guy hopped right in then quickly nestled himself in a tiny compartment just large enough for him to fit.

            Alas, Mario made the victory sign and said,

            "Here we go!"

**S_hopping Karts_**

            "Well, look at this pretty one we have here. If you don't mind my saying, I think it's your color."

            Luigi focused his eyes on the one lime green kart in the bunch and even though he wasn't very keen on this idea of a second kart race fundraiser, he wondered just how well the thing handled and how comfortable was the seat and what the engine would sound like when he put the pedal to the metal like his all-time favorite racer, Mario Andretti.......uh..well...his brother, Mario Mario....

            "You like it?" asked the mechanical looking Doctor Robotnik. "Here, why don't you try it out? Your brother told me to give you first pick. If you don't care for it we can always put you in something different."

            After taking a moment to think on it, Luigi stepped to the kart and was about to take the helm when suddenly a car came screeching onto the lot from Sonic Avenue and Luigi didn't even have to look to know it was his brother because Mario loved spinning those tires and kicking up dirt and stopping on a dime just to show off.

            "Here he is now!" said Robotnik.

            Indeed, Mario had made a grand entrance, and Luigi bent over to look into the car and was surprised to see two passengers, Peach in front and Toad snuggled in back, but then somewhat disturbing was the fact that Peach seemed rather angry, perhaps even downright furious.

            "Hello! It's me, Mario!" Mario got out to greet Robotnik but the doc didn't seem the least bit impressed. "You test drive one yet?" he asked Luigi, then went around to open the door for Peach.

            "I am not getting out of this car!" she snapped. "I mean it, Mario! You tricked me into this! I refuse to take part in this sideshow of yours!"

            "Ah...come now, Princess Toadstool," he reached in, trying to pull her out but she would not budge. "Please, Peachy..."

            She smacked his hand instantly. "How dare you call me that in front of strangers!"

            Mario retracted, his pride slightly bruised. "But this will help the less fortunate of our Mushroom Kingdom--!"

            "Not to mention that we will be able to challenge Bowser in battle mode..." Luigi added with a pinch of cynicism.

            "Be quiet, Luigi," went Mario.

            "Don't you tell him to be quiet!" Peach demanded.

            "Thank you, Princess." said Luigi.

            "You're welcome."

            "..You are a sneaky devil, Luigi.." Mario mumbled.

            "No sneakier than you—"

            "Alright, alright, enough already!" shouted Toad who had finally hopped out of Mario's flashy sportscar and began flailing his arms while leaping up and down. "That one! That one!" He bounced like a ball and pointed to a blue kart next to the green one Luigi liked.

            "Well good," said Robotnik the salesman with a nod. "That one's just right for you. It's small yet powerful, really speedy too—"

            "Oh no you don't!" Peach finally got out of the car and went to snatch Toad away from the kart before he could plop into it. "I'll not let this happen again! The last time we raced the people of Mushroom Kingdom suffered greatly! They were placing bets and some of them became very rude and nasty!  Many of the children got bad grades in school because their parents dragged them to the events and wouldn't leave until we were all finished!"

            "Ah," Mario disagreed. "The kids had a very good time....they liked to watch us racing....and especially they liked seeing their princess win so many times."

            Peach glared sharply at him.

            "O-kay!" went Toad who was already in his little blue kart and started the engine, then he took off around the lot, trying out turns and the passing gear, then Mario, ready for this competition, ran to the nearest red kart and hopped in, started up the engine then took off after Toad, leaving the princess and Luigi behind to literally eat his dust.

            Peach waved off the filthy cloud of dirt and coughed.

            "Princess, are you alright?" Luigi put an arm around her.

            "No, I am not!"

            "Yes, I understand."

            Dr. Robotnik found it amusing. "I rented a few of those item boxes from your kingdom. These karts have one feature I think you'll really appreciate—"

            Before the doc said another word, Toad had picked up an item box which automatically activated the spinning force field around his kart.  Three red shells rotated around him and when Mario whizzed by, Toad pulled the trigger on his steering wheel, releasing a shell at a blazing speed which quickly honed in like a rocket on Mario's kart, and Toad laughed loudly, "Yeah! HEHEHEHE!" when it made a perfect hit that sent Mario and his kart tumbling up into the air then bouncing back down to the ground with a "boink!"  Took several seconds off of Mario's lead.

            "Wow!" Luigi perked up. "Did you see that? Amazing! The shells rotating in mid air like that....  That's really slick! Did you see that, Princess Toadstool? That's even better than the last--"

            Something pink zoomed by Luigi and to his surprise it was Peach! In a pink kart with her hair whipping in the wind! She was fast! So fast that she even caught up to Mario after scooping up an item box, then a bolt of lightning cracked, causing Luigi's heart to just about jump out of his chest...

            "Lightning bolt," said Robotnik. "She just shrunk 'em.  Hey..look at her! She just ran over Mario and smooshed him! And look, that little Toad fellow spun off into the grass!  My, my..." Robitnik smoothed his tie with a smile and lit up a cigar to celebrate, for he knew he had just made a nice big sale. "...you all are gonna have a blast at this, I can already tell. You guys can write me in for a couple tickets to this fundraiser of yours..."

**_I Spy On You_**

            "...ah....let me see here.....put knob on the highest power and aim directly at subject...   ....now take the banana....  uh...the banana?  What is this?  I have no banana. ....What kind of instructions is this?  ...Next, load mushroom to boost your kart's power quickly.....let me see....  Hmm...kart racing?  That is it, Bowser! The box you have stolen from the castle contains these instructions to driving karts!  You know what that means, my friend?  That means they are planning another one of those kart race fundraisers...and this time, Wario will not be left out!"

            In his bright yellow outfit, the one and only methodical crook, Wario of Wario Land, circled the room several times, thinking deeply as he chewed on a yellow number 2 pencil and began studying the instruction booklet very intensely while King Bowser Koopa sat watching and listening as he ate some flies and rats that Wario had laid out as an elaborate appetizer just for him..  

            "Let's see.....you have the mushroom and the triple mushrooms...  You have the single green shell, triple green shells....but wait...they rotate around your kart? Nah...that's impossible...even in Mushroom World! And a lightning bolt that shrinks everyone else? ....And this....the spiky blue shell that goes after anyone in first place...  Now that sounds like a great weapon!  I tell you King Bowser, they plan this behind our backs but we'll get in! And me, I'm Wario! I'm gonna win!"

            "AHAHA AAAAAAGH!" went Bowser.

            "Of course...." Wario agreed. "...you too. We both win! I bet you he will call this one Mario Kart Two or something like that...  Well, after I'm finished with them, they will call it Super Wario Kart Extreme! EH HEHEHEHE!  And this time they will race on my turf! Wario Stadium!..."

            "AAAAAAH  AAAAGH!!"

            "What? Your castle? You think we should race in your castle? ...Well.." Wario went to the mantle to grab his yellow cap and shaped it. "..I don't know about that. That would be difficult, eh?  Anyways, I thought you were doing a little remodeling on the castle? I would think that would get in the way."

            "AHAAAAAH AAAAAAH!"

            "Lava jumps? You have prepared some lava jumps that would work just perfectly for this?  Well...I guess...."  Wario tried not to sweat in front of King Koopa. "...Lava jumps sound good...  Anyway.." he proudly put on his cap and proclaimed once again, " ...I'm-a Wario! I'm-a gonna win!"


	2. ch2

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 2

Slippery When Wet and Falling Rocks 

Mushroom Kingdom Weather:  A very nice 78 degree high, 59 degree low

Sunset: About six-ish, Princess time, About twelve-midday Koopa time

Kalimari Desert: Extreme heat

Koopa Troopa Beach: Sunny, warm

Frappe Snowland: Snow

Sherbet Land: Ice

Choco Mountain: Dry, falling rocks

Yoshi Valley: Breezy

Traffic:

Toad's Turnpike: Heavy, Lot's of big rigs, school buses, compact cars

Rainbow Road: The usual flashing neon sign distractions

In other news....the Mushroom Kingdom Council meets for the second time this quarter to discuss the possibility of annexing the small tourist isle called DK Jungle....

            "Wow," Luigi said from the opposite side of the Mushroom Daily News that Yoshi had been reading. "A lot more money for the Mushroom Kingdom could be made off that tourist site."

            Yoshi lowered the paper to see Luigi. "We should be happy about that, huh? Well, anyway, have you seen this yet?" 

            Then Yoshi showed the page he had been reading to Luigi and to Toad who both sat across from him at a small table in the Eats section at the new Portobello Mall. On that page was a heading that read: Gentlemen, Start Your Engines! It's Mario Kart 64! Below that were small photos of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, and Yoshi with the names in caption below each one. Then were snapshots of two courses, Rainbow Road and the ominous Banshee Boardwalk.

            "Mama mia...I still can't believe we are going to be racing on that thing," said Luigi shaking his head despairingly. "There's bound to be some injuries from this."

            "Did you know Mario's even thinking of racing against the traffic on the turnpike?" Toad added.

            "What?"

            "That's right. He says he wants to add more drama to the event this time around."

            Yoshi couldn't help but to make a comment, "Well, if it's drama he wants then he'll sure get it when someone loses all their teeth on a car bumper or maybe a few kneecaps get busted on the front of one of those big rigs or we get double-smooshed between the lightning and a truck wheel..."

            "Ok, ok. Enough already. " Luigi moaned. "Now that it's in the paper there's no way out. People will come just to see who gets killed first." 

            Toad suddenly rolled over toward Yoshi and tried grabbing a piece of the chocolate rainbow donut with extra candy sprinkles that Yoshi was saving for last, but Yoshi quickly snatched it up and devoured it with a big swooshing sound that went something like....yo.yoyo yoshi!

            "I don't know how you eat like that." said Luigi.

            Yoshi shrugged. "And I don't know how you can sit there with a plate full of spaghetti and hardly eat it. You're so much different than Mario."

            "...thank goodness." Luigi mumbled.

            "Unless he wins the whole thing again like he did last time. I wonder what the big prize will be for this one?"

            Luigi took his fork and finally spun some strings of pasta around it. "Peach." he answered. "That is really why he's doing this, to impress her. That's why he does everything even though he doesn't admit it."

            "Really?" Yoshi lit up. "So that's why he does everything? You mean all that stuff? Saving the kingdom from ruin? The buildings he's designed for us and the streets he's paved and all the enemies he's fought, including Bowser and Wario, has all been because of....Peach? And all this time I thought it was his love for all of us here in Mushroom Kingdom....and now you're saying--"

            "I think you're jealous." said Toad.

            "I am not!" Luigi insisted. "I'm-a Luigi! Number one! Mario will be jealous of me when I win the championship!"

            Toad and Yoshi, stunned by Luigi's very emotional reaction, gobbled up the rest of their food and scooted away from the table at the same time. 

            "Hey! Where are you going? I haven't even finished my spaghetti—"

            "Uh...yeah," said Toad. "We know. And if we waited for you to finish it we'd probably be here for the next two weeks. Anyway, Yoshi has to go see his cousin and I...well, I have to get back to the castle to help the princess get ready for the big event."

            "Her? Get ready?" Luigi replied. "She doesn't even have to win. People will come just to see her."

            "That's where you're wrong." said Toad. "This time the princess is going to be ready for you guys. She's going for the gold in each level."

            "Oh really? That's very funny."

            "I wasn't joking. In case you didn't already know, the princess is a pretty fierce competitor...or she can be...and just wait 'til we team up. You and your brother won' t have a chance."

            Luigi stood up and poked little Toad in the chest several times. "You-a challenge me? Luigi? Number One? Well, little polka-dot head, you just try!"

             "In case you didn't already know," Toad boasted. "I'm the best!"

            "I'll believe that when I see it,"

            "Oh yeah?"

            "Yeah." said Luigi.

            "I'm the best! I'll be in first place more than you!" Toad shouted.

            "You'll be no better than fourth." snapped Luigi. "And you know what the person in fourth place gets?"

            Toad looked at Yoshi, and Yoshi shrugged.

            "They take you over the hill in front of the castle and set off a big bomb beneath you, kart and all," Luigi explained. "And in case you didn't already know, you will get some very bad loser music too."

            Again Yoshi and Toad looked at each other, but this time both were a little shaken up by the thought of "bad loser music," and without any further challenges, they both left Luigi who sat back down to finish his plate of saucy spaghetti which he thought he could do without further interruption until the presence of a very rotten smell,

            "AAAAAH AAAAAGH!"

            The taste in Luigi's mouth turned sour as he looked up...and up....and up...

            "YOU TRIED TO TRICK ME! AAAAAAH AAAAGH!"

            Bowser's voice carried like aftershocks from a volcano(fiery breath and all), and the whole Eats section cleared like pepper runs from a bar of soap in water.

            "But no…no...." Luigi stuttered.  "Trick you? Would we do that?"

            "AAAAGH AAAAAH!"

            "Well, sure we have slot for you in the race....." said Luigi, voice trembling. "Because of course we couldn't fathom the thought of you and all the koopas boycotting the Mushroom Kingdom. You're in. Don't-a worry. I tell my brother and he will make sure to reserve a kart for you....all you will need is to complete the time trials..."

            "AAAAAGH!" went Bowser. "I'm not doing any time trials! I'm in the race or the Mushroom Kingdom will suffer! And on top of that, the Koopa kids won't be in this year's Mushroom Kingdom Nintendo Power Rainbow Parade!"

            "….the Koopa kids are always the worst in the parade…" Luigi said under his breath.

            "AAAAGH AAAAAH!"

            "Nothing…I said nothing at all.  You're in okay? All you have to do is purchase the kart from Mario."

            "HA! Buy something from him?" Bowser laughed. "…I'd never trust him to sell me anything worthy! I choose my own kart! You tell that little runt brother of yours that he'll see me at the races!  AAAAGH AAAAAAAGH!"

            There was a sigh of relief when Bowser finally left, and the people who had scattered finally flooded back in so they wouldn't miss the day's special, Butternut ice cream floats topped with chocolate syrup and huge red and green maraschino cherries.

            Alas, Luigi devoured his spaghetti then afterwards he ordered one special butternut ice cream float for himself.

Not-a So Bad, Not-a So Good 

            When Luigi went to visit Mario the next day, there were several karts parked in the driveway in front of Mario's house all lined up like it was some kind of car show or something. They were polished and all the tires were scrubbed, and passersby pointed and whispered among themselves and a few car buffs went up to check out the engines.

"This one's gonna be big!" said a voice from within the gathering that Luigi immediately recognized.

            He walked into the crowd, pushing aside a few strange looking characters, and when he got to the center he found Mario there, sitting in a sparkling brand new red kart—the same one he had test-driven around Robotnik's lot.

            "Hello-a, Luigi!" Mario called out with a smile. "Everyone, here is my brother! Next to me is his perfectly-tuned lime green kart, and he's ready to race!  Believe me, Mario Kart 64 is going to be a huge success!"

            "…uh…Mario…" Luigi leaned over and spoke quietly, but Mario just kept showing off to the crowd.

            "We are ready for anything!" He bragged, flexing his muscles and gripping the steering wheel on his kart.

            "….uh..Mario…" said Luigi once more. "I saw Bowser at the Portobello mall, he thinks we are trying to keep him out of the race…"

            "Oh really?" Mario smirked. "So, he took my bait, eh? I'm sure you tell him that we have a very, very nice kart all ready for-a him—"

            "Actually….no,"

            "What?"

            "He is purchasing his own kart. Apparently he doesn't trust you, Mario. He thinks you had his rigged the last time so you would win."

            Mario rose from his seat. "That's ridiculous! I won the title fair and square! That big oaf!"

            "Well, I don't think calling him names is going to help—"

            "We will cream him! You and me, Luigi, we have to work as a team…."

            "Mama mia, how do we work as a team if only one person can win the race?"

            "Let me see…..I guess one of us takes first place, the other takes second."

            "Oh no you don't!"

            The small crowd got larger and hung around just to listen.

            "What? What's the matter?" Mario shrugged.

            "You just want someone to pave the way for you so that you can take first prize again! Not this time, brother. I am on my own! I don't need you or anyone else to help me win."

            "Ah, suit yourself." Mario said confidently. "I can beat you and Bowser with my hands tied behind my back!"

            "….I'm sure Bowser would like your hands to be tied behind your back… …and I would like your big mouth wrapped up with duct tape…" Luigi mumbled.

            "What?"

            "Nothing. I said nothing. I guess I should just take my kart and get going."

            Luigi stepped over to his green kart but Mario stepped in front of it and held out his hand.

            "That will be three hundred dollars. Gold coins only. I don't accept personal checks."

            Luigi tried acting dumbfounded. "Well, you take-a I.O.U.?"

            "No."

            "Down payment?"

            "Umm… No."

            Knowing it was useless trying to stall Mario any further, Luigi finally reached into his wallet and handed over the three hundred dollars worth of gold coins with a very bitter frown on his face.

            "There," he said as he slapped the gold into the palm of his brother's hand. "Are you satisfied now?"

            "Okie-dokie." said Mario with a sly grin. "It's all yours, Luigi. Until we meet again at Mario Kart 64!"


	3. ch3

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 3

Eenie, Meanie, Wario 

            "It hasn't been easy living in Mushroom World with the constant reminder that Mario lives among us.  Mario, Mario… Everybody loves Mario!  I hate Mario!  He goes around beating everybody up and they think he's a hero!  Well, his days are numbered, and very soon!  The hero will soon be me!   I, Wario, will be the one and only favorite mascot of our great Nintendo Universe! …And of course Prince of the Mushroom Kingdom alongside that pretty little Princess Toadstool…  First though, I must prove that I am just as much a winner as Mario and even better!  I'm Wario! I'm-a gonna win!  Eh hehehehe!" 

            Wario, lifetime member of the elite Troop of Latte Guardsmen, had great skills in moving quickly through forests, over mountains, and he possessed a great knowledge of technical devices and could concoct just about any type of weapon from nothing more than a tree branch and a bunch of nuts.  As a matter of fact, he stole Koopa Troopa's kart by carving a branch into a key and scattered nuts on the path in front of Koopa's dwelling, so when Koopa came running after the kart, the spinning tires would kick up dirt full of nutty pellets into Koopa's face.

Despite Wario's superior fighting skills, for some reason not even he could explain, he has been beaten time and time again by the one and only ruthless Mario Mario, that plumber born in a small town in Italy and raised in Brooklyn, New York.

            ….Mario…Mario…..Mario….

            The thought of that name made Wario chew his cap.

            "Excuse me, Mister….um…Wario, is it?"

            He quickly shook off his earlier thoughts and realized the little floating guy in front of him.

            "I'm ready when you are." said Lakitu.

            "Oh yes….yes….of course.  Wario is always ready!"

            "Good. Now you can do one lap to warm up, then we'll start the time trial."

            "Alright!  Here I go!" Wario proclaimed with his loud raspy voice as he started off on Luigi Raceway and was confident he'd pass the time trials because he had been at the top of his class with the Latte Guardsmen driver's education course.

            "I'm impressed. One minute, fifty-four seconds." said Lakitu when Wario came back around. "Now, the real thing."

            While waiting for Lakitu to give the go signal at the starting line, Wario punched a gray button on the steering wheel and noticed three blinking mushrooms on the display panel, and on the blue he punched the button again, getting a sharp burst of turbo that significantly increased his speed.

            Two mushrooms blinked.

            He pushed the button on the second sharp curve and bolted forward with another burst of speed.  Then he used the third one at the curve near the end.

            Qualifying time: 1'52".

            "First course complete." said Lakitu who flew around in his fluffy smiling cloud and waved a checkered flag.

            Wario went on to qualify in all sixteen courses.  Lakitu then presented him with a entrance pass for the race along with a map to the courses in battle mode.

            "And now I am ready to show them all that I'm gonna win!" said Wario very selfssuredly.

            "Well good." Lakitu replied. "But I think you should stay here for just a minute and hear the rules of the race."

            "Rules.. Fools… I make my own rules!"

            "But what about how to use the weapons? Don't you want to hear about those?"

            Wario's brows rose with intrigue. "Weapons? So I can use weapons in the race?"

            "The item boxes." said Lakitu as he floated around Wario then stopped in front of him again. "They are rotating question marks at selected spots in each course. You load your kart by running over these item boxes and you use them by pressing that gray "Z" button on the steering column. You can also use that yellow button on the right but the gray one's quicker."

            "Mm hm." said Wario as he was thinking. "So, Lakitu, of all the weapons, which one would you say is the most deadly….I mean…. effective?"

            "That would depend on the situation. But I'd say you'd probably appreciate the power of the spiky blue shell that goes after the person in first place…of course it hits anyone in its path along the way..."

            "That's a perfect weapon! And how about the others?"

            "Well, there's the triple red shells, and the lightning bolt that shrinks everyone else, the slippery banana peels, and the single red and green shells that you can fire off like little grenades…"

            "This is my kind of race!" Wario grinned. "And I'm gonna win!  There is just one other thing, Lakitu. So, what is the prize for all this?"

            "Winner takes all."

            "Winner takes all?" Wario perked up.  "Gold? Diamonds? Pearls?…"

            "Wario?"

            He stiffened at the sound of a familiar voice, then turned around. "My, my, if it isn't the lovely Princess Toadstool," He removed his cap at once and bowed to her. "Your Highness, what a wonderful surprise to see you here!"

            "And you," Peach said kindly. "Mario didn't mention anything to me about you being in the race."

            "Oh well…Your Highness, it was…last minute decision."

            "And your kart. Isn't that the one Mario sold to Koopa Troopa?"

            "No…no." Wario replied quickly. "It just looks the same. This is my kart. I built it with my own two hands!"

            The princess seemed to believe it. "Oh, that's very nice." she said.

            Then Wario noticed a sparkling pink kart beside the princess.

            "And what do you have there?"

            "This? It's my kart. Mario had it custom built just for me."

            "Just for you? Oh really? He custom built one just for you? That is good, Princess Toadstool. So now you can ride around and keep the audiences entertained between the races."

            Wario didn't notice how Lakitu and his floating cloud were both stunned.

            "What?" went Princess hastily. "Keep the audience entertained? I'll have you to know that I am racing too! And I was the fastest in the time trials so I'll get first position when we start!"

            Wario slouched with embarrassment. "My apology, Princess Toadstool….I just…well…I didn't think that a young lady such as yourself would participate in such a dangerous sport…"

            "So you think only men can play this game, right?"

            "Well…" Wario shrugged nervously, sweat on his brow. "…It's just that you would have to race with dress and crown…and high heels.   Princess, it's just… well…I think that would be…well…difficult, if not impossible—"

            "EEEEUUW!" The Princess snarled and balled her fists. "How dare you! Forget waiting for the grand prix! I challenge you to a race right now!"

            "You mean…me?  Versus you?"

            Hands on her hips. "Yes!"

            "Eh hehehehe…" Wario laughed. "I would not think of that. I would not want you to lose so badly, Your Highness."

            Princess Peach turned flaming mad. "Lakitu! Send the sky shuttle to take us to Royal Raceway!" Then she looked directly into Wario's eyes with a frown. "If you lose, you'll have to promise me to do everything in your power to mend fences with Mario and explain to the kingdom why you are his enemy."

            Wario agreed. "And if you lose, Princess?"

            "I won't lose!" she replied. "But if that happens, you can take the gold royal crown atop the stadium seats—"

            "Really?" This time he grinned huge and already had visions of the mounds of cash he could get from that crown.

            "Don't even think about it." Peach warned as she prepared her kart for transport to Royal Raceway.

Versus 

            _"….Hello, Daisy? I am sorry I cannot make it to the play tonight. I will have to go with my brother to the tracks…he wants to check them out before the races just to be certain they are all in good condition. I should be back later this evening. Bye for now, my darling Daisy…"_

(later the same day)

            There was a zip in Mario's step as he went from track to track checking with the crews who worked to get the tracks up to par for the races.

            "My, I have never seen my raceway look better!" he said enthusiastically. "What do you think, Luigi?"

            "Yes, of course." Luigi nodded but was still somewhat preoccupied with his phone message to Daisy.

            "I don't think you hear anything I'm saying." said Mario on the way to the Royal Raceway entrance. "You don't hear it because you are too caught up with Daisy. You worry too much.  You should be more like me, brother. Do you see me worrying about Peach?  Never. I know she can take care of herself, so I don't have any reason to…..   Hey, what's this?"

            Luigi cleared the fog from his brain and saw a crowd of people lined up in front of the Royal Raceway ticket booth.

            "Is there something going on here?" asked Mario. "Today?  No one told me about anything…..Wait!  Look at the billing!  Wario versus….PRINCESS PEACH TOADSTOOL!  No!  It can't be!…."

            Mario went running into the crowd and Luigi followed him, squeezing around people to get to the head of the line where Mario quickly paid the fourteen dollar a piece ticket price and rushed into the stadium where apparently the race had already begun because people in the seats were cheering, and down on the tracks were two karts, one purple and the other pink with engines revving, also was Lakitu holding out the signal that went from red to blue as he counted…3…2…1…

            Mario slapped his hands over his eyes. "I can't look…"

            "And they're off!" Luigi yelled. "Peach got a good head start! She's taking the lead, Mario!  She's doing good!"

            Mario slowly uncovered his eyes to see just as Peach picked up an item box that gave her a single power mushroom which she used immediately to thrust herself ahead.  He then caught a breath and felt his heart just to make sure it was still beating and it was, but then Wario picked up an item box and in a fraction of second three red shells circled the kart and shot off one after the other, then Mario thought he'd faint—

            "Oooh," said Luigi. "She is in trouble…."

            BAM BAM BAM  The shells triple-clobbered Peach with her kart and she went tumbling high in the air as many times, "AAAEEEE… AAAEEEEE…. ..AAAAEEEE!"

            "EH HEHEHEHE!" Wario's laugh echoed throughout he stadium.

            "Mario?" went Luigi. "Are you alright?"

            Luigi then looked over and noticed Mario's fixed gaze.

            "Hey…brother!" Luigi reached out and shook him. "It's alright, she recovered. You see them over there…they are almost to the jump and she's got a star so she's sure to make it!  Hey, don't worry…just like you told me, right?…..Hey…Mario?"

            Turned out Mario sat like that during the entire race.  He never once responded when Peach knocked Wario around with her triple green shells or shrunk him with lightning, and he was stone-faced even when Wario bumped her around and pounded her good with the shells.

Yet and still, by the end Princess Peach came out ahead and won the race.

            "Peachy!" she said as she whooshed by Wario at the finish line.

            "Mario…?" Luigi looked at his brother with wonder. "She won! And she didn't even lose her crown! Look at her, she is waving and blowing kisses!  Perhaps you were right after all. I should not worry about Daisy, I guess. She is capable of taking care of herself just like Peach."

            Strange thing was that Mario didn't have another word to say all the way from the stadium or back at home.  He just sat there and wallowing in silence so badly that Luigi stuck around out of concern.

            Around five-thirty, there was a knock on the front door.

            "Hello Luigi."

            "Peach? Well, how wonderful it is to see you. And congratulations on your big win today."

            "Thank you, Luigi." she said kindly. "Have you seen Mario?"

            "Please, come in.  Yes, he's upstairs…well, actually I can't say that I've seen him very much. He's been up there since we got back."

            "Oh really? I was just wondering, because he's left about ten messages on my answering machine at the castle in the past hour…is he alright?"

            "Messages, on your answering machine? I see…"

            "He says from now on he wants to make sure we keep in touch at all times. Is he feeling well?  I mean, this just isn't like Mario." said Peach.

            Luigi nodded and smiled contently. "It is baffling indeed." he admitted. "But just between you and me, Peach. Finally….I think my brother has come to his senses."


	4. ch4

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 4

**_And The Winner Is....._**

            Mario Kart 64 Has Arrived!

            Features 20 courses comprised of sixteen race tracks and four closed battle arenas!

            People received programs at the entrance.

            There would be the Mushroom Cup, including Luigi Raceway, Moo Moo Farm, Koopa Troopa Beach(Noku Noku), and the Kalamari Desert. The Flower Cup would consist of Toad's(Konopio)Turnpike, Frappe Snowland, Choco Mountain, and the very famous kingdom landmark, Mario Raceway.  Next was the Star Cup, including the newly built motorcross tracks of Wario Stadium, Sherbet Land, the Princess' own Royal Raceway, and a frightful journey (at least for the drivers) through Bowser's Castle. Last on the schedule was Special Cup, which was indeed special, including the tourists isle D.K.'s Jungle Parkway, the grand Yoshi Valley, the mystical Banshee Boardwalk, and last of all but not least, the long....long....long...neon-lit Rainbow Road.

            People flew in on Koopa Air from all over the kingdom to see this spectacular show. The ones who drove their cars purchased extra quarts of Super Mario motor oil and checked their engines thoroughly.

            Mario Kart 64 had been rated a "must see" by the Mushroom Kingdom Daily, touting that it would have the "best effects ever seen in this genre of racing games," and it would be "Fast! Fast! Fast!"

            "Look! It's that big ape, D.K.!" Someone in the crowd pointed out.

            Rumor had it that Mario couldn't get a guest star--the Mushroom Kingdom's own Wynne Hewton--so the ape had to fill the spot.  Mr. Hewton was on his Sensational Kingdom world tour, however he fulfilled Mario's request to open the race via satellite, which consequently fell in the hands of none other than Wario, an experienced technical advisor who coordinated all the special effects including views of the tracks on wide screens for the fans and real-time stats for the drivers on the dashboards of each kart.

            Mushroom people, Yoshis, Koopas, and all the average folks of Mushroom World came to the event that was also being recorded for the "outer world" video game maker, Nintendo.

            "You ready Princess?" asked Mario as they stood at the fence outside of the first course, and he cornered her with his usual suave routine. "You know, I'll be taking you out after this....to...celebrate victory, of course."

            "Oh.." Peach's eyelashes fluttered sweetly and she dreamingly gazed into his eyes. "That's so nice of you, Mario."

            "...And you can come to my place afterwards to do more celebrating there, then you can help me pick a spot for my trophy."

            "Really?"

            "Yes." He playfully pinched her little nose and tickled her chin. "I'm sure you would like that....eh Peachy?.."

            "I would..." said Peach with a smile that quickly sobered. "...But I think we should plan to celebrate my victory instead,"

            "Uh..excuse me?" Mario moved back.

            "Don't be so sure that you'll win this time, my dear Mario. I'm ready for everyone this time....that includes you."

            "Oh, so you think you're gonna beat me, eh?"

            "Yes!"

            "I think not!" Mario retorted.

            "I think so!" Peach declared. 

            "Come on Mario, Princess," said Luigi as he passed them on his way to the track. "No time for your petty little nonsense quarrels now...the race starts in five minutes."

            An excited crowd cheered as Lakitu came down with his signal and the racers lined up, but instead of doing so according to their time trial finishes—as Peach had referred to earlier—Bowser came in and made changes because he thought Mario was cheating again by putting himself and Peach in front, so the order of players changed to Luigi, Toad, Wario, and Mario in last position on the left, with Bowser, D.K., Yoshi, and Peach on the right.   

            Lakitu counted down from three..  Red..  Yellow...  Blue...

            He waved the flag and got out of the way as the whole bunch started off—Peach made a quick dash to the middle and thrust forward with a turbo mushroom, Toad jumped over Luigi and Mario thought he'd made a good start from behind but Wario took off, bumping karts aside and spinning them out of control.  "AAAAAH!" Toad yelled. "Mama Mia!" yelled Mario. "YoYoYoshi!" Of course, that was Yoshi's cry.

            "You think you beat me?" Wario hollered out to Peach soon as he caught up to her on the first turn and picked up an item box. "...FIRE!" he shouted as a banana peel lobbed ahead of them on the tracks and slipped up Peach before she could avoid it.  Other karts sped by her as she spun out and Wario laughed as he passed her, "EHhehehehe..." but just a few seconds up the track he was smacked with a speeding red shell and intimidated by the voice that came up from behind him—

            "Yeah! HAHAHA!" Mario laughed as he went zooming by.

            Wario flipped up in the air, crying, "WAAAAA!"

            D.K. did a power slide and Yoshi struck lightning.

            The fans roared with laughter and cheers.

            Luigi disappeared with a ghost and Bowser went right through him with a star.

            Ooohs and Ahhhs came from the crowd.

            The three laps were perhaps as fierce as anything ever seen before in the Mushroom Kingdom's history, and the competitors slammed each other with more shells, smooshed karts, and lobbed more bananas, but at the end it was Luigi who finished first.

            Luigi did rather well on every track after that as well by managing to pick up the right items at the right time, like bombing Yoshi with three red shells just before the finish line on Moo Moo Farm, smashing D.K. by shooting back a green shell, slipping up Peach and Mario and Toad and Wario with a string of bananas on Koopa Troopa Beach, flipping Bowser high in the air with a blue spiny shell, spinning out everyone ahead of him with a bolt of lightning then running over them as he got first place on the Kalimari Desert, and finally a huge crowd of fans from the Mushroom Kingdom cheered for him... ("Mario's brother" "that other guy" "the one in green"  "the second player".....you get my drift)   Anyhow, Luigi soaked up all the glory as dozens of balloons rose into the air and shimmering stars showered him throughout the award ceremony, and finally, when Lakitu gave him a microphone, he boasted, "I'm-a Luigi! Number One!"

            The fans went wild.

            More cheers came as Toad took the silver and Peach took the bronze.

            "Well, congratulations, brother." said Mario afterwards, even tipping his famed red cap to Luigi. "You did very well on the easy courses. Now we'll see how you do as things get a bit more challenging."

            Luigi turned up the bravado. "I can handle it."

            "We'll see, won't we?" Mario taunted. "You know the last time you went driving on Toad's Turnpike you got ticket for going too slow..."

            "Oh really? Well you could not even beat Peach back there!"

            Mario snapped to attention. "I let her go ahead of me!"

            "And you just happened to let everyone else ahead of you, too, eh?  Can't go any lower than eighth, big brother."

            Mario glared from underneath his cap.

            "Ah, I hope you both get splattered by big truck! Neither one of you is that good!" said Wario as he came between them. "Next is Flower Cup, and I'm gonna beat the pants off both of you!"

**_The Princess Power Slide_**

(just another day in the Mushroom Kingdom)

            "Your crown, Princess," said Toad as he entered the bedroom and placed the freshly polished and shined gold crown on the vanity where Peach was sitting. "Will there be anything else?"

            "No. Thank you, Toad." Peach smiled and continued brushing her hair and looking in the mirror.

            Toad nodded and left the room.

            "....ninety-eight...ninety-nine...one-hundred." Peach finished with the brush and put it down, then she got up and went around the corner to the closet and opened the door. "...okay...you can come out now..." she whispered.

            The clothes in her closet rustled and from behind them came none other than Mario who Peach had pushed in there soon as Toad knocked on her door.

            Mario took a look around. "He's gone?"

            "Yes, Mario. Now come out right this instant."

            "But Peach, it smells so good in there. That perfume you use on everything is so....very nice,"

            "Stop it, Mario! Are you forgetting why you came here?"

            "...Uh....to see you?"

            "Mario!"

            "Shh!" he went. "Keep your voice down. Your little Toad might hear us, you know."

            Peach frowned. "I asked you here because I wanted you to see something."

            "And what might that be, Princess?" asked Mario brazenly.

            She quietly went to her nightstand and opened the drawer then returned to him with a small book about the size of matchbox. "This, I got it for you."

            "What is it?"

            "Open it up, Mario. You'll see."

            Mario opened up what he thought was just a book, then he realized the pages were folded and when he let them out, he was holding a map of all the courses in the race. "Is this all? This no big deal to me...I've already studied all the courses very thoroughly and—"

            "Have you studied all the shortcuts?"

            "What?"

            "And I suppose you already know all the tricks and cheats."

            "Tricks?" went Mario. "Cheats? My darling, Peach. I'm very shocked at you... This is supposed to be an honest race."

            "Right, Mario." She turned from him. "And so I guess you really don't have the desire to win after all, do you?"

            "Sure I have desire to win but I win fair and square! ...Hmm, look at this..." Mario suddenly noticed something of interest. "...Wario Stadium... Wow...right at the beginning is big shortcut...and there is another..." He studied carefully, buried so deeply into the map that Peach could see no more of him than the M on his cap. "...Although it might be difficult, it is possible..." and was silence while his eyes roved the pages looking for more shortcuts and hints and tricks, not even realizing how it had captured his interest until he lowered the map and saw Peach staring at him. "Uhhem..." cleared his throat. "This is all well and good but I won't be needing it."

            He had folded the pages then closed up the secret book and tried giving it to Peach but she wouldn't accept it.

            "I went through a lot of trouble getting that for you, Mario!" she snapped.

            "Trouble? What kind of trouble?"

            Peach was going to say something else but quickly refrained.

            "Tell me." Mario demanded after putting the book on the vanity.

            _…never_…  She thought to herself.   "It doesn't make any difference to you that I'm trying to help you, does it? You're so stubborn, Mario. Anything I try doing for you doesn't matter....you don't even care that I'd let you have this castle if you wanted it! You're so busy going out saving the kingdom and trying so hard to please everyone else that you never take the time to see what's right in front of you!"

            "Oh," said Mario. "So that's what this is all about. Me and you. You want me to pay more attention to you, is that it? Perhaps you want me to shower you with flowers and whisk you away to exotic places and take you everywhere I go on my arm....  You want me to be like my brother? You want to go see Daisy so both of you girls can make plans to marry him?  Okay, well I am not my brother, Peach. He wears green, I wear red. I am not one of these.....Revolvo Iglesias, Jr./Ricky Martin types!"

            "That's Enrique Iglesias—"

            "Whatever. I do things my way because that is the only way I know. If it feels like I am not paying attention to you I am sorry, Peach.....very sorry. But I don't see how you can come up with something like that when I spend most of my free time saving you from Bowser..."

            Peach crossed her arms angrily. "You sound as though I've made you waste most of your free time—"

            She stopped when Mario reached for her hands and grasped them gently.

            "Stop it. I will never let Bowser hurt you as long as I am here to rescue you. We are a couple, you know? There is no me without you and there is no you without me, and I think everyone in Mushroom World and beyond knows that by now. If they don't, I don't know where they've been for so many years. Anyway, I don't have to win that silly race. You are my prize."

            She couldn't help but give him a smile that became a giggle when he pulled her into his arms and snuggled her.

            "And so beautiful." he said quietly, stroking her lovely sunlit locks. "I only meant to stay for a little while, but it looks like I can't leave after all…  Now, go over there and lock the door."


	5. ch5

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 5

(Ok, so this probably wasn't the best game ever made but I personally find it pretty darn entertaining and can only dream of the day the DOT installs item boxes for the nation's freeways in selected cities…don't laugh, if this ever comes true yours could be one of them….lol)

**_To The Next Level_**

            Some people in line were placing two dollar and four dollar, and a few had ten dollar bets on the winner.  Seemed Wario was getting the best draw so far. Next was Bowser, then Yoshi.

            "That little froggy thing practically blows people off the course with his speed." said one fan to another.

            "What about that big ape?" The other fan pointed to the photo of D.K. on the program.

            "He's got size enough to knock'em around but he's too dumb. Doesn't have any strategy, and he gets way too many bananas."

            Award music plays in the background, and Yoshi takes the gold in Mushroom Cup 100cc.

            "YO-YO YO-YOSHI!" he says with joy, and the fans cheer him.

**_Battle_**

            "It's very important that I get in!" said Geno as he showed a photo of Mario and Luigi to the ticket booth attendant. "I was their guardian when they were just little babies.  I don't need to have a ticket, they know me! I have something very important to tell them…please, let me in!"

            "I'm not authorized to let you in or anyone else, sir, without you purchasing a ticket." the attendant said after shutting the gate and locking it. "The tournament has already begun anyways. And it's a full house, standing room only."

            The attendant walked away, leaving Geno and Mallow at the entrance.

            "I think we have no choice but to go in without a pass." said Mallow. "We'll be clear once we find Mario anyway."

            It was not Geno's intention to perform any kind of magic but knew he wouldn't have a choice if it meant getting into the arena to see Mario.  He said some words then raised his hands and wiggled his fingers, and the gate that was in front of them magically disappeared.

            "Where's the stone?" asked Mallow.

            "In my pouch." answered Geno. "Safe."

            "We have to do this?"

            "Yes Mallow. We must. It's a matter of life or death for someone in there."

            Mallow contained himself and followed Geno through the entrance and stayed close as not to become lost.  He didn't want to think about how they had just come from one of the worst places in Mushroom World, streets littered and air boiling in dank stench and the ground sprouting acres of poisonous and hallucinogenic mushrooms.  Hard to believe the Princess had been there so many times in the past few weeks, but Geno held the stone that would show images of her trip there, mingling with several lakitus who supplied her with the mushrooms in exchange for gold, and she was seen dancing with some goombas and sharing a drink or two at a bob-omb bar with none other than Lemmy and Iggy Koopa.  The stone also showed a lakitu handing over two bottles that looked like potions and some kind of small booklet, and she hugged him in return!  Why did she do that?  Mallow had no answer but he was extremely affected by this and couldn't think up any reason why Princess Toadstool had gone to visit the lower half of Mushroom World in the first place.  A closer look into the stone gave a clear view of the items bought by the princess—two bottles of shell explosives, some deadly power rocks, and one book of cheats and shortcuts.  Could the princess have been so serious about winning that she was willing to kill?  And who was she going after with these explosives?  Wario? Or was she finally going to put a permanent end to Bowser?

            Thank goodness one of toad servants had placed the stone inside Peach's broche to record her every move before her travels to "the bottom.."

            "They've started already." said Geno as they approached the main lobby inside the arena. "We'll have to run. Come on."

            As Mallow and Geno were on their way backstage, Luigi, Mario, Bowser, and Peach were at their starting positions on Block Fort.  Peach appeared to be especially ready, and she floored the gas pedal just as soon as Lakitu's signal went blue, shooting straight toward the kart which was Mario's.  Luigi and Bowser went their own ways, getting item boxes and going up the ramps to a color-coded block.  But Mario—he couldn't get away fast enough before Peach ran right into him once, then surged ahead to pick up an item box and came back around to find him and shot off three red shells.  These shells repetitiously blew Mario twenty feet into the air. Scared the crap out of him too.  Bowser and Luigi had been battling between themselves until Luigi looked across the fort and saw Mario seemingly trying his best to get away from Peach, who kept running over item boxes and loading them and Bowser stopped long enough to notice she was pouring some sort of additive into the shells then packing them in beside her.  Then again, she raced to catch Mario and when she did, she sent off more shells then put down an upside down question box, and as Mario came tumbling down from the air and hit the ground, she ran over him, flattening him like paper, and then she did it with vengeance, again….again….and again….

            "Princess!" Luigi called as he grabbed her arms and Bowser helped him pull her out of her kart and away from Mario who was just beginning to recover from the attack..

            "Whoa…." Mario huffed and looked at Peach. "What-a you try to do to me, Princess? Kill-a me?"

            The crowd started chanting,  "PRINCESS! PRINCESS!" because they didn't really know what was going on, and then Luigi heard something whizzing behind him.  Just as he looked back he saw a leftover red shell spinning in the corner, then Mario pulled off, and Luigi couldn't do a thing but close his eyes and pray as the shell went after Mario, crashing into his kart and exploding like fireworks.  The force of the blast was so strong that it ejected Mario from his seat, and he smashed into the wall then fell to the floor like a limp rag.

            Luigi let go of Peach and ran to his brother then knelt beside him.

            "HE'S DEAD!" Luigi yelled in a panic after hearing not a breath from brother's lungs. "SHE'S KILLED MARIO!"

            …ooooooooh…   The crowd rumbled.

            And then Peach went unconscious, slid from Bowser's grasp and collapsed on the floor.

            "MARIO!  MARIO!…" a voice came calling from somewhere nearby.  "MARIO! WHERE ARE YOU?"

            Luigi looked up and saw Geno running toward him and Mallow coming close behind.

            "Mario?" said Geno when he found Luigi. "…Uh….Princess?…" He then saw Peach lying on the floor underneath Bowser.

            "She killed him." Luigi said with his eyes just starting to tear.

            Geno's eyes rolled from one to the other. "No.  She couldn't have….killed….Mario?…"

            Mallow went immediately to see about Peach, and he found that she was indeed breathing, although very faintly, like she was in some kind of deep sleep. He quickly took out a packet of smelling salts and held them under her tiny nose, and Bowser held her as she came around.  Her eyes fluttered open and Mallow thought she would certainly be all right, until she began to cough.  At first she coughed twice, then started again, but this time it sounded like she was choking on something, then gurgling, and Bowser lifted her up to sit and shook her.

            "Hey! Princess! AAAAAH AAAAAAGH!" he yelled. "Hey, you killed Mario! You weren't supposed to do that, I was supposed to do it!"

            "Bowser!" Geno called. "We can't change that now.  Princess Toadstool has murdered Mario—"

            "Wait!" Mallow broke in. "Look!"

            Mallow cupped his hands as Peach continued coughing, and she sounded even worse than before, almost like she was suffocating before he tilted her head down so she could spit up whatever it was, and he was amazed when he trapped a slithering yellow worm in his hands from her mouth.

            "Geno!" he yelled. "A wiggler! There was a small wiggler in her throat!"

            Just as Geno got up, the wiggler squirmed out of Mallow's hands and plopped onto the floor then shot forward like a desert snake, heading for Luigi…but no….it was going for Mario….

            "Stomp it!" Geno yelled.

            The worm was half an inch away from Mario's lifeless body when Luigi crushed it under his right shoe.

            …eeewwwww….   went the crowd.

            "Yuck." said Bowser.

            Luigi raised his foot and saw the remains of a gooey wiggler stuck between the sole of his shoe and the floor like pizza cheese.

            "That's what made her do it." Geno concluded. "Poor Princess, I don't know how we're going to tell her what she's done to Mario. But I wonder how that worm got into her."

            "She ate it?" asked Mallow.

            "Mallow, the Princess doesn't eat worms….not knowingly anyways." said Geno with disgust as he watched the ambulance drive up and two toad paramedics put Mario onto a stretcher and covered him.

            "….Ma….Mario?" Peach said drearily, and when she saw the paramedics cover Mario's face with the sheet, she collapsed again and passed out cold.

(….Mario's dead….  Oh no!  Will Peach be forced to pick out his tombstone? Or will they revive him in time to enjoy a huge Tombstone pizza with his friends by the end of Mario Kart 64?)


	6. ch6

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 6

Only Cats Have Nine Lives, Don't They? 

            "Peach! We have to be ready to go in fifteen minutes!"

            The sound of Luigi's voice was chilling—it sounded so much like Mario's.  The last thing in the world she wanted was to be rude by not answering him, but she couldn't help it this time, because she really didn't feel like talking to anyone and couldn't stand looking at herself in her gold-trimmed cheval mirror.  How could she love herself on this day?  Mario was dead and she was more angry at him dying on her than she was at whomever was responsible….because he had access to more than enough invincible stars and one up mushrooms and coins that he should have lived forever! But then Peach was just as angry at herself, for she should have brought him back with her own powerful spell of resuscitation, but there was a time limit for bringing someone back to life even in the Mushroom Kingdom, and Peach had been unconscious so long that by the time she woke up, Mario was a good ten minutes past that limit.

            Eventually the princess took a long deep breath and sadly looked at her reflection in the mirror, as she was not dressed in the Royal Princess gown, instead draped from head to toe in black.

            On the other hand, Luigi seemed to be taking this well despite the fact that he would have to continue defending the Mushroom Kingdom against evil and protecting its dear princess from the massive claws of King Bowser Koopa without the added skills of his older brother.  Peach didn't want to let the thought cross her mind, but she had to consider Luigi's feelings for Daisy and that they would be married one day soon, which meant he would probably spend his time being a dedicated husband and would not have time for anything else.

            "Peach? Are you okay? Is there anything I can get for you?"

            She saw Luigi standing in the hallway as she left her room, and she forced a half-smile. "I'm fine. Thank you."

            "Toad is ready for us downstairs." he said. "Here, let me help you with that."

            Peach stood very still as Luigi's hands reached for her black veil and gently pulled it over her eyes after she had managed to get a good glimpse of how nice he looked in his suit and tie—handsome, calm, holding himself together so well.

            "There," he said. "Now, we'll be just fine."

            _….no…I'll never be fine again…_

            Nothing in her life had been devastating as this. Peach took Luigi's hand and went with him downstairs where they met with Toad and all of them were about to walk outside, say a few words to the Mushroom Kingdom press, and give thanks to the people who had come to grieve with them and pay their final respects to their fallen hero, Mario, when suddenly Geno came running in from the kitchen.

            "I'VE FOUND IT! It was in the Mushroom flour! I found several other wigglers in there too! Princess, someone planted them in your food! I think we can find who did it. All we need is to find the source! …And I think I know exactly where it is."

            Peach was so stunned by…well…just about everything, that she couldn't say a word, but Luigi, he livened right away.

            "You know?" he asked anxiously. "You do know where it came from?"

            "Well, I don't think you'd find it so hard to believe if I told you about a guy who raises a whole farm of them. He's even sold them to Bowser…I guess you already know that—"

            Luigi squinted like Clint Eastwood playing Dirty Harry, and snarled, "Bowser."

            "No, it's not him." Geno said quickly. "He's bought them before but he didn't do this. I'm pretty certain whoever did this had access to dozens of those worms, and the only person I can think of right off hand is Wario. He's the one who owns the wiggler farm."

            Luigi now had an angry scowl on his face along with a sudden strong determination. "You are right. Knowing Wario has done this….it doesn't surprise me at all. Now we go after him, and after that, we change some things about the races….just to make sure no one else gets killed."

            "You're continuing the races?" asked Geno.

            Peach raised her veil in shock.

            "Yes." said Luigi. "We continue. Mario would've wanted us to do that and I see no reason to stop now just because of one deranged person. As a matter of fact, I see this as a new reason to keep the races going, in dedication and honor to my brother's life."

            "Yeah." Geno agreed. "I guess you're right, Luigi. I didn't really think about it that way, but knowing Mario, he would've wanted us to go on. You want me to contact Yoshi, D.K. and Bowser to let them know about this?"

            Luigi nodded. "Sure. I'll go out there and talk to the press and get the fans behind us!" He looked back at Peach. "You stay here, Princess. I'll take care of this right now. I'll come get you when they're ready."

            Toad went up to Peach after Luigi was gone.

            "So, what do we do now, Princess?"

            She looked toward the doors, then Geno, then Toad. "Call the driver, I'm going out."

            "What?" said Geno.

            "But Princess—" said Toad.

            "Call him!" she demanded.

            Toad and Geno were both silent after seeing how upset she was, and it was Toad who went to call Princess Toadstool's personal Royal Mushroom Kingdom coach.

            "How will you get away, Princess…I mean, with all those people out there?" asked Geno.

            Peach had a sinister look that others rarely saw. "Do you honestly think I would let myself become trapped in this castle and not have a way out?"

            "Ah, a secret passage."

            "Of course." she shrugged while checking something in her purse and straightening her long black gloves.

            "And so where?" asked Geno.

            "Now, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret." she said slyly.

            A few moments later Toad came to escort her back upstairs, and Geno saw nothing more than the doors closing behind them.

Meet The Course Ghost 

            It was strange how nothing looked the same in Mushroom Kingdom.  The once fluffy clouds were kind of flat and the perfectly green trees looked pale and dry.  Koopa Troopa Beach didn't seem so sunny after all.  Peach couldn't even stand to watch as her coach passed through the rolling hills of Kalimari Desert.

            She sat back daydreaming until finally arriving to the place where she insisted on going even though Toad warned her not to, and even the driver tried convincing her to let him turn around and take her back to the castle.  She refused to listen.  She wanted to go to Mario Raceway, and she wouldn't let them change her mind.  The sky shuttle had landed before they arrived, and her custom pink kart had been dropped off at the track as she had requested.

            "Princess?" Toad was so very confused.

            "If we're continuing with the races, I need to practice." she said, and without anything more, Peach went to the track and got into her kart, started it up and watched Lakitu's signal go from red to blue, and she was off!  She blasted like a rocket from the starting line with a mushroom and cut corners, plowed through the grass, skidding around the tight curves and shot through the tunnel at more than eighty miles an hour!  She didn't really know what it was that made her feel like doing this, but suddenly was a desire to win like never before!  She raced around that track for three full laps, cutting curves and power sliding and using the two remaining mushrooms, and crossed the finish line with a ZOOOOM!

            "Wow! One minute, twenty-nine seconds!" said Lakitu as he floated around Peach. "That's a real record. Now, I have a friend who would like to meet you."

            She had no idea of what he was talking about but followed him back to the starting line again, and she looked up at him, wondering what was next.

            "Look, Princess…" he said. "…Beside you."

            Peach looked to her right and couldn't believe what she was seeing or that it could've been real.  "Mario?" she said faintly. Stunned, yet alert.

            It was Mario's red kart and his cap and it was indeed him, but he was not really there, he was a ghost—somewhat like Lakitu—she saw him, yet could see right through him as well!  And as she wondered if he could hear her speak his name or if he could see her, she quickly realized Lakitu's signal going from red to yellow and knew there was no time to try talking to Mario because the signal went blue and she saw his ghost take off at the starting line so she put the pedal to the metal and shot forward, making those tight curves and plowing through the grass again just to catch up with her dearly departed hero, and she managed to catch up and steer her kart next to his as they came around the curve in front of the green tunnel, then came quite a paranormal experience when Mario's ghost passed right through her and she called out to him but he just kept going without even looking back.  It was not like Peach to give up so she kept racing, trying her best to catch him again but never did, and as she approached the last curve on the third lap she saw Mario's ghost cross the finish line ahead of her, then he vanished.

            "What's wrong, Princess?"

            Peach heard Toad's voice nearby after she had stopped on the finish line and held her hands over her eyes so no one would see her crying.

            "You did really good!" Toad added joyously, being his usual self. "If you drive like that against everybody else, we'll never have a chance!"

            She lowered her hands and looked at him, and she knew by the look on his face that he was surprised to see the tears in her eyes starting to run down her cheeks.

            "Toad, did you see anyone else racing with me?"

            "Huh? …Uh….No."

            "Are you sure? You didn't see any ghost?"

            "A ghost? Lakitu's the only ghost we have around here, and we all see him when he wants us to. Other than that, you were the only one I saw.  I think we should go back to the castle, Princess. Maybe you should get some rest."

            Following Toad's advice, Peach turned off the engine and got out of her kart, then allowed him to escort her back to the Royal Coach, and they returned to her castle.

**_Skyscraper (Police Headquarters)_**

            "I do-a nothing! Why did you bring me here? I do-a nothing!"

            Wario yelled to the tops of his lungs while struggling to break free of the two toad agents that held him.

            "Everybody's accusing me of killing Mario! I would have loved to kill him! I wish I had…how about that! I think you should be bringing that pretty little Peach Toadstool down here! She's the one who killed him with her own two hands! She just wants me out of the race so she can win! But I will not be defeated! I'm Wario! I'm-a gonna win!"

            "Yeah," said Sergeant Toad. "Sure thing. Like we haven't heard that one before….Book'um boys."

            It was two o'clock in the morning and bitterly cold outside which was unusual for the Mushroom Kingdom no matter what the season—except for a few places, such as Frappe Snowland and Sherbet Land.  Citizens stocked firewood and huddled around their hearths to stay warm on this night.  Whipped hot chocolate and espresso(a Kingdom staple taken from the tallest part of Choco Mountain and packaged by a famous toad person named Mushy Faldez), flew off store shelves by the dozens and kept children happy, parents full of energy, and just about everyone else completely satisfied with the wonderful aroma in the air.

            Even Wario was in the middle of drinking a tall cup of espresso when the agents pounded on his door and threatened to knock it down if he didn't open up.

            "I am an elite member of the Brotherhood of Latte Guardsmen!" he shouted. "You take me, you will hear from my brothers!"

            The toad agents totally ignored his threat, then picked him up and threw him in the paddy wagon.

            "Now look, you can make this hard for yourself or easy," said Sergeant Toad after Wario was brought to the station. "First of all, I want you to tell us how those wigglers got into Princess Toadstool's mushroom flour."

            "I don't know." Wario shrugged.

            "You don't, eh? You just happen to be the only person in Mushroom World who has a wiggler farm."

            Wario maintained his innocence. "Well….uh….yes….I…uh…I do…But I don't know a thing about how they got into her mushroom flour! Those critters…they get around but not so far away from the farm, you know. I keep them all safely locked up, so they can not get out unless I let them out."

            "So you've got a key?"

            "No, no key. A code in my head that nobody else knows. So you see, it is impossible that they were my wigglers. I told you before, you need to look at someone else.  …Bowser! I've sold them to him before! He's always wanted to kill Mario and now was his chance to do it then get you to blame me! I am innocent! You will see when the wiggler is dissected, that it did not come from my farm!"

            It took a few hours to test the wiggler's identity at the Mushroom Kingdom's Police Crime Lab, and sure enough, it did not have the same genetic make up as those on Wario's farm.  And when the investigation turned to Bowser, again the trail went cold.

            "Nothing." said Sergeant Toad to Luigi a few days later. "We can't find where these things came from, and I think the princess has started losing hope that this thing'll ever be solved. Toad tells me she's doing pretty badly."

            "Oh? I've been in Sarasaland for the past two weeks." Luigi explained.  "I have yet to speak to her."

            "Sarasaland? Well, that place is really growing, I hear. Actually I think a lot of people from the Kingdom are moving there. It's just not the same without Mario…and you, of course. There hasn't been a council meeting in weeks and the princess hasn't even come out to give her monthly address to the people. I think she's in her final days of ruling here, Luigi. There's even been talk about a public vote to remove her, and believe me, I don't want that to happen anymore than you would, but now some people are saying that she really did kill Mario for a reason I can't believe. They say she did it to get him out of the way, can you believe that?"

            Luigi, curious of where this was headed, looked confused. "Get him out of the way? Of what?"

            "Not of what….for who." Sergeant Toad answered. "You." he then said. "People are saying the princess knocked off Mario because she figured it would force you to take over where he left off, if you get my drift."

            "Wait….wait just one minute.."  Luigi walked around the small room that was often used for interrogations. "Peach….I mean, Princess Toadstool? Kill Mario, for me?"

            Sergeant Toad got up from the edge of the table where he had been sitting and raised a brow of suspicion at Luigi. "What'd you call her? Peach? Do you usually call our princess by her first name?"

            "Well….uh…" Luigi stuttered like Wario did before him. "The Princess and I…I mean….us….a-me and my brother have been friends for a long time, you see. I meant no disrespect by calling her that, and it certainly has nothing to do with any kind of personal affections between me and her. Peach..I mean Princess Toadstool, is like sister to me."

            "And so you once dated your _sister_? Is that what you're telling me?"

            Luigi was instantly angered. "We dated, yes! For a short while! We made a mutual agreement to split up and have been friends ever since. …Mama-mia, I can't believe you are actually trying to accuse the princess of murdering my brother just because you can't find any good leads."

            "Oh? Well maybe she wasn't working alone, Luigi. Just maybe you were working together—"

            "That's it!" Luigi slapped the palms of his hands down on the table then turned around in a hair-pulling rage. "I've had enough of this! I'll get a lawyer and sue this entire department for slander! I'll have every one of your badges!"

            "Yeah," said Sergeant Toad with displeasure. "You guys really think you're slick, don'tcha. …Book'um boys."

(Will Sergeant Toad ever find out Whodunit? Or will he lock up the entire Mushroom Kingdom? Will Peach…uh Princess Toadstool…be escorted from her castle in handcuffs? Will Luigi get out of jail in time to marry Daisy? Or will she accuse him of still being in love with the Mushroom Kingdom Princess and dump him? And will we ever see Super Mario 128 for the GameCube?***** Your guess's good as mine…)

***the above was written in Dec 2001**


	7. ch7

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 7

Star Power 

            The Royal Toad Guards came in blowing their horns and another rolled out the red carpet for the princess, and two others opened the doors of Sergeant Toad's squad room so she could have a straight shot to his desk where he sat with his feet kicked up and the phone on his shoulder as he chatted on and on to the big chief about their latest case until Peach ripped the connection from its base—

            "I need to talk with you!"

            "Wha..?" he shot out of his chair in a fury. "Hey! Why'd ya do that for!"

            "Let them go." she stood in his face and demanded.

            Sergeant Toad stood. "Who? Let who go, Princess?"

            Peach stepped back then unrolled the scroll she was holding and read it. "Luigi, Wario, Bowser, Yoshi, D.K. …TOAD.." she frowned and went on. "..King Bob-omb, Lakitu, Koopa Troopa, Bullet Bill, Dragonzamazu, Tatanga, The Hammer Brothers, MagiKoopa, Barney Bubble, The Shy Guys, Wart, Smithy, Lemmy, Iggy, Ludwig, Larry, Morton, Roy, and Wendy Koopa, The Snifits, Bub & Bubba, Birdo, Mouser, Triclyde, Baron Von Zeppelin, Belome, Croco, Culex, King Calamari! And finally, Sonic the Hedgehog! You know he doesn't belong here!"

            The Sergeant took a toothpick from his desk drawer and stuck it in the side of his mouth. "Just doin' my job, Princess. And the citizens of Mushroom Kingdom happen to think I'm doing it well….Sorry I can't say as much for you. You know the people have voted to remove your powers to rule this kingdom. I'll be generous and give you ten days to clear out of the castle."

            Peach glared at him with her arms folded. "I am not going anywhere, and I will not leave this office until you release the prisoners you're holding here without any valid charges against them!"

            "Oh I've got valid charges alright, on all of them. Every one of them has been out to destroy Mario at one time or another, and now I have reason to believe they all worked together to commit this heinous crime, and unless you can prove…before your ten days is up that is…that you had nothing to do with Mario's murder, then I'm afraid I'll be locking you up too, Your Highness."

            Peach looked back at her guards, and they all just shook their red and white spotted heads with sorrow, but again, the princess was not a quitter.

            "You're not going to win, Sergeant Toad. I'm going to win!" she snapped.

            "Yeah, we've heard that one down here a million times already..." he chuckled pompously. "Look Princess, perhaps you should just do us both a favor and start packing your things up and go quietly. I can be a nice guy and give you a break…all you'd have to do is testify and you can be outta here for good. You've got enough money that you could surely move to some exotic beachfront and live out the rest of your life worry free. Come on, wouldn't you rather be laying out on the sand getting a nice little tan instead of being kidnapped by Bowser Koopa every six months?"

            Peach loathed him. She could've summoned her guards to take over the precinct but it probably would have resulted in nothing more than chaos and riots in the beautiful streets of her Mushroom Kingdom. If it was still indeed hers. She noticed how Sergeant Toad had a smug look on his face just before she silently bowed her head and turned to leave without seeing her friends,(well some of them were friends anyway) like Toad…Yoshi….and Luigi, who would rot in those cells if she didn't get them released.

            As night fell upon the kingdom, Peach laid down on her large canopy bed and looked up, gazing deeply into the folds and twists of silk strung overhead, and the deeper she gazed, the more quiet and calm everything became, and then a Power Star appeared, rotating just above her face.

            ….Hey…How-a you do that?…

            The star went away and Peach shot straight up in bed and looked around her.

            "Who's there?" she asked in a panic. "Hello? Is someone there?"

            ….Just me….

            She slapped her hands over her mouth and her eyes grew wide with fear.

            ….sorry to frighten you, Peachy…

            "Mario?" She looked around the room and was puzzled, for she saw no one there at all.

            ….Yes, it's me…

            "Mario?" Peach said again. "Where are you? I can't see you."

            …over here…

            She looked around and then saw the book—the map booklet she had showed to him before the kart races—it moved, then magically rose into the air and dangled above the vanity.

            …you still can't see me, eh? I'm holding this book. You got this for me, but you shouldn't have, Peachy. I told you, I am not a cheater. I win fair and square….

            She scooted forward on the bed until she was closer to…well… …whatever spot in the air might have been Mario.

            "I didn't mean—"

            ….Shhh… You want me to come back, Peach?…

            She nodded swiftly as a child wanting candy, holding the footboard of her bed like a balustrade of the Titanic.

            …Well then, I'll come back…

            "EEEEEE!" Peach screamed as she does when she's extremely happy, and she bounced off the bed then rushed toward the book that was dangling in the air in an attempt to hug Mario, but the book fell on the floor right in front of her feet.

            ….Calm down, Princess…

            Peach looked down at the book laying there, and she realized the voice was suddenly coming from another direction, near her window, and with an urgency she headed over there,

            …Ahhh…

            "Stop playing tricks, Mario!" she said angrily at him. "I saw you racing right next to me!"

            ….Ah…yes…I was in limbo then, you know…not quite completely dead, but I am now, and you can't see me but I can see you….

            "Oh yeah?" Peach taunted. "Then what am I doing now?"

            …Sticking out your tongue at me…

            Indeed he was right. Peach immediately stopped and put her hand over her mouth in shame for a moment, then finally she went around to the left side her bed and sat down facing the window where she believed Mario was still standing.

            "Why did you come here, Mario? All you're doing is upsetting me and I don't see why you'd want to do that, since I only have ten days left in the Kingdom."

            …what?…

            "Ten days. The people have voted me out. They don't want me here anymore, and actually I think I don't need this anymore—"

            …but Peach…No! They can't do that to you! You are a princess, for goodness sakes!….   Then Mario's voice lowered as though he was whispering to someone close by       …..this can't happen….what I do now….what?….

            "Mario? Are you talking to someone?"

            …..yes..yes….    Oh, Peachy…I'm sorry about that, just had to get a little advice. Anyway, you bring me back and we'll get everything back to normal….

            "But I can't—"

            ….You get my brother and tell him to get Yoshi….and they need to go south, then east, then north, and he will know what you mean….

            "But Mario! I can't! Luigi's—"

            Suddenly the window flew opened as a breeze whooshed through it like a wind-tunnel, and Peach could do nothing but hold on to a bedpost to keep from being pulled out with the strong force of air that stopped just as quickly as it had started.

            Next, she smoothed her hair and clothes, then ran to the window.

            "Mario! …Mario! Answer me!"

            Nothing.

            "Mario!" she stomped the floor. "Come back here right now!"

            "Uh…Princess?"

            She turned around and saw one of her dedicated toad retainers.

            "Did I hear you say…Mario?" he asked her very cautiously as he must have wondered why she was standing by an open bedroom window on a very chilly night.

            "Me?" Peach pressed her hand to her chest. "Say…Mario? No, Toad, you couldn't have heard anything like that."

            Toad sighed as he had become used to what some people had referred to as Princess Toadstool's Mariopsychosis. "Okay, Princess. Never mind. I just came up to let you know we have a little dessert for you downstairs. It's a cherry malted float."

            "Thank you," Peach smiled. "I'll be right down, alright?"

            She waited, but he didn't move.

            "I really will." she added. "I promise."

            Finally the retainer nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

            "….Mario.." Peach called out again, this time very softly, yet with greater desperation. "…Mario, come back here right now….please…"

            There was only silence all around her. She could hear nothing but some singing crickets and felt nothing more than a crisp evening breeze.


	8. ch8

Welcome To Mario Kart Part 8

(Ok, this part leads to a bit "James Bond/Bruce Willis" type action…well, maybe not…)

_Exploding Cell Blocks_

            All over the Mushroom Kingdom were citizens forming opinions over this awful tragedy that had happened to their cherished princess.

            "It's not that we wanna throw her out.." said a caller on the very popular Dusty Toad morning radio talk show. "…we just want her to admit it. If she really did kill Mario so she could have Luigi…well…we'll understand. But we just want her to be honest with the people. She owes us that much."

            "I think we need to get back to the races," said another caller. "This whole mess has been just one big distraction."

            "Peach and Luigi? I always thought they were a hot item anyways." said another. "Can we get back to the kart races now?"

            When Princess Daisy heard these comments on her radio at the palace in Sarasaland, she threw her shoe and knocked the small gray box off of the counter and it hit the floor. Killed it on impact.

            Luigi had used his one phone call to contact her.  She hung up in his face.

            "Ah, you got woman problems there, young man?" asked Wario like he was some kind of expert on the subject. "Don't worry. She'll forget everything after you get outta here. They always forget. All you got to do is show up with a flower bouquet and a little bubbly….hehehe... She'll forget. Take my word for it."

            "I think she's gonna kill you when you get out." said Yoshi. "Unless you die first in here."

            "Thanks for the encouragement, Yoshi." Luigi replied irately.

            Yoshi nodded. "No problem, fella. Well, If we're destined to rot in here, I want to enjoy it at least. I demand more food!" he hollered out, then he ran over and yanked a metal water carafe from Toad's hands and began banging it along the cell bars. "I WANT FOOD! I WANT FOOD! I WANT FOOD!" he yelled as it clanked loudly.

            "Noooooo!" Luigi got up from his bunk and tried stopping Yoshi. "The guards will come!"

            "Yeah! That's the idea!" Yoshi shouted back and kept banging.

            "AAAAAH AAAAAGH!" went Bowser. "I think it's a good idea." He grabbed another carafe from the floor and started clanking the bars.

            Then Toad did the same thing, but when Wario got up trying to stop them, a fight ensued.  The four of them had been in a least ten arguments and one other fight since being in the cold, dreary place.

            Luigi just sat back down on the bunk, put his hands over his ears distressingly, and bowed his head. "..Mama mia-a-a-a…I can't take this anymore—"

            "HEY! I TOLD YOU GUYS THE NEXT TIME YOU START UP I'M THROWIN' ALL OF YA IN THE HOLE!"

            The fight stopped immediately when the toad guard pulled out a key to unlock the cell. Yoshi, Toad, Bowser, and Wario then seemed to read each others minds as they quickly jumped forward thinking they could overtake the guard and make a fast clean break, but soon as they grabbed him, about a dozen more guards were there, all aiming their guns straight into the cell.

            "…Uh…guess that wasn't such a good idea after all." said Yoshi.

            The toad guard with the key pulled away from them and brushed off his uniform, then he looked at each one with a brutish smile. "Good…very good." and he looked over at Luigi who sat on his bunk trying to be invisible. "You!" the guard shouted. "Get up! You're comin' with me!"

            Luigi perked up and looked around him, then pointed into his chest. "Me? Why me? I wasn't doing anything."

            "I said, GET UP!"

            When Luigi didn't get up fast enough the guards went to the bed and pulled him up, and he resisted as they took him out of the cell.

            Yoshi, Toad, Bowser, and Wario could only watch with terror while hearing Luigi's frightening yells echo all the way down the corridor.

            "Too bad." said the guard. "Your friend's gonna have a little punishment. Maybe now you'll think twice before starting any more trouble." After looking them all over and grinning, he walked out and locked the cell behind him.

            "Wow. Poor Luigi." said Toad. "I wonder what they're gonna do to him."

            Wario sat down on the bed where Luigi was before. "..This is terrible… It wasn't even his fault… No telling what they do to him just because of us.  Hey, Bowser! I-a know! You breath fire and melt away these bars!"

            Bowser went up to Wario and slapped the cap off of his head. "If I could do that don't you think I would've done it by now? The only way we could get out of here is with help from someone on the outside."

            After Wario got up to collect his cap, they all thought on it.

            "Princess Toadstool?" said Yoshi. "Surely she could get us out of here."

            "Bah," went Bowser. "The princess is too depressed about Mario to help us."

            "If you'd been listening to the radio like us, you'd know of the rumor going around about her and Luigi…as a matter of fact, that was supposedly what started this whole mess. She killed off Mario just for him."

            "Huh?" said Bowser.

            Toad shook his head. "It's just a rumor. I don't believe that for a minute!"

            "Well, I think there could be something to that." said Wario. "And it could be good for us. If she's got a thing for Luigi, she will come down here to rescue him, right?"

            They looked at each other until Yoshi made a final assessment.

            "We're doomed."

Twinkle Twinkle Power Star 

            Guided by the light of a single star, Peach traveled in the darkness to reach her destination.  She was not afraid of the goombas and other creatures that would surely come out from their caves to try scaring her along her journey because Mario had taught her to fight very well. Also, in an effort to camouflage herself, she wore a black cape borrowed from a friend from a far away land known as Kokori Village, and wrapped her head and all of her face except the eyes with a black scarf to keep from being spotted by the toad guards posted along all the roads leading to the jail complex. Miraculously, she was able to get through without a hitch, and within less than an hour she made it into the outer perimeter of the complex and avoided the guards. Once inside, she shorted a few security panels to get through the force fields, avoided more guards, then she finally got to the inmate area where she could see King Bob-omb, Birdo, Bullet Bill, Dragonzamazu, Magikoopa, Triclyde, the Snifits, and Koopa Troopa fast asleep. She moved quietly to look in the next cell, seeing Tatanga, Lakitu, Mouser, The Hammer Brothers, Wart, and King Calamari. In the next cell were all the Koopa kids cuddled in individual beds, and next to them were The Shy Guys, Barney Bubble, Smithy, Culex, Belome, Baron Von Zeppelin, and Croco. Then was an aquarium-like cell containing Bub & Bubba. She also noticed a list on the door with all their names, and next to the name Sonic the Hedgehog she read "released on own recognizance."  She took a few more steps and turned the corner, seeing two guards posted outside of a cell down that hall, and knowing that must have been where they were keeping her closest friends, she diverted the two guards attention by spinning power stars in front of them, and they were instantly hypnotized.

            Peach crawled around the corner as not to be picked up by the security beams, and she went to the cell to peek in, seeing Yoshi, Bowser, Toad, and Wario, all sleeping. But then Toad must have sensed her presence because he woke up right away.

            "Princess!" he said just above a whisper.

            "Shhh. I want you to wake up the others….slowly." she said. "And Toad, where's Luigi?"

            Toad slipped from his top bunk and hit the floor with a thud and Peach jumped then checked the guards to make sure they were still deep into hypnosis.

            "Toad? Are you alright?"

            He got up and was a bit embarrassed as he quietly approached the bars near the princess. "I'm okay. But Luigi….I don't know about him….they took him earlier this evening and told us they were gonna punish him. We all heard him yelling. It was awful, Princess…"

            Peach was horrified by the news.

            "We have to find him." said Toad. "That's the least we can do."

            Peach didn't say a word.

            "Princess?"

            "Oh….Toad…Wake them up and I'll open the lock." she said after snapping out of a saddened trance.

            Toad went to Yoshi first, and shook him, then Bowser, then Wario.

            "Hey…hey..what's-a goin' on…."

            "Shhh." said Toad. "The princess is here to rescue us."

            Wario looked over and saw Peach jiggling some sort of sharp object through the lock. "Good-a…." he said quietly and hopped from the bed in his long johns and got dressed, and by the time Peach had opened the lock, they were all ready to go.

            "We didn't mean to get Luigi in trouble, Princess." said Yoshi. "We really didn't!"

            Wario, Bowser, and Toad glared at him.

            "We were gonna have to tell her eventually guys." he explained, then turned back to the princess. "I just wanted you to know that we're all very sorry."

            Peach stood there for a moment and was furious at them for a second or two, then she calmed down and turned her anger into a determination not to lose yet another very important person in her life.

            "Let's go." she replied firmly. "We'll find him….  …Alive."

            Getting back through the corridor was tricky, but somehow they all made it quite a ways until coming to an area that appeared to be cordoned off and completely locked down.

            "This must be where he is." said Bowser.

            No guards were posted in front of a huge door with a hefty padlock, but of course it would be tough enough getting through that.  Wario—eagle-eye that he is—also noticed security cameras aimed at the door.

            "How will we get passed those?" asked Yoshi.

            "Ah, I've got a plan for that." said Wario. "All we have to do is get behind the cameras, aim them directly at each other, then…Wal-la! They short each other out, and we get through."

            "Hmmm, clever." Bowser nodded.

            "Cool." said Toad. "Where'd you learn that one?"

            "I saw it last week on Voyage To The Bottom Of The Mushroom Sea."

            "You're a genius." said Yoshi.

            "I know." Wario said confidently. "Now, you two little guys need to get over there because you can climb along those rafters up there without bending them, and me and Bowser stay here with Princess Toadstool until you kill the cameras, and we all meet over there to help her get Luigi out. Deal?"

            They all agreed and stacked fists in a huddle until Bowser said, "One-Two- Three-Break!" then the mission began.

            Yoshi went up to the left rafter and Toad went right to the other side, and within less than a minute they were behind the cameras.  It took just a few tries to get the angle just right, but once they had it, the cameras sparked, fizzled, and smoked.

            "That's it!" Wario hollered out. "Come on. We move in now!"

            Peach, Bowser, and Wario ran for the huge door and Yoshi jumped down from the rafter, then Toad, and they all were about two feet away when alarms started ringing and red lights flashed.

            "OH NO!" Wario shouted. "THE FLOOR!"

            They couldn't turn back now. Peach pulled from beneath her cape some sort of powerful laser-like weapon and zapped the lock, cracking it open in a flash, and Bowser pulled the heavy door, opening it just enough for her to get inside.  She could still hear them out there and knew the guards must have come because Bowser was roaring and Wario sounded like he was throwing fists, but then she blocked out everything else when she saw what was in front of her….

            Peach choked up at the sight of Luigi, his hands chained to the bars on a small window and his feet bound in some kind of rope, and he looked like they'd done practically everything they could short of killing him.  He groaned when she went up to him and began struggling to untie his feet, and coming from the other side of the huge door she heard fighting again then worried that they would be caught before getting him free, and if they did, how they would ever get out to bring Mario back—

            "..you can do it, Peach….come on…keep trying. Just keep trying…"

            She thought she was hearing Mario's voice again but then looked up and saw Luigi looking at her and although he must have been in pain, he smiled and winked an eye.

            "I knew you'd come," he said and grunted once after she tugged the rope away from his feet. "Hurry…" he said. "I hear the guards. They're close…"

            "Bowser and Wario are out there," Peach answered. "Toad and Yoshi too."

            She then stood and opened her cape, lifted her long pink dress, revealing the holster around her thigh, and she pulled from it a long, sharp nail file.

            "Nice," said Luigi when he saw it, but she didn't know he was referring her long shapely leg instead of the file.

            "Thank goodness I have this.." she said about the file.

            "Yes. Thank goodness." he said about the leg.

            Sticking the file into the lock, Peach jimmied it around and heard a loud click.

            "I got it!" she screeched.

            The handcuffs fell off and Luigi was finally free. He then grabbed Peach who was about to run back out to help their friends fight off the guards,

            "No." Luigi pulled her back. "We go up." and he pointed to the ceiling where there was a big vent. "You can be pretty sure Bowser and Wario will beat them, then Toad will finish them off…and Yoshi…well, they'll be his nighttime snack. Now come, let's go."

            Luigi lifted her onto his shoulders so she could reach the vent and open it, then after she climbed into the rather large square opening, he got a chair, stepped upon it, and he took her hand for leverage before climbing in with her, then closed the grate behind him.  They could still hear the sirens ringing and actually it sounded louder inside the vent than it did down below, and Peach looked back before she started crawling and noticed that Luigi had stopped to catch his breath.

            "Luigi! Are you okay?"

            "Ah, I'll be fine," he said and wiped the sweat from his brow. "I just need to get my strength back…"

            Peach knelt beside him and unfastened the cape again, reached into the front of her pink dress and pulled a small bottle from there and unscrewed the cap. "Here, drink this." she said. "You'll feel much better."

            Luigi took the small flask and tasted a cool, semi-sweet liquid roll down his parched throat. He then gave the bottle back to her and watched as she concealed it once more within her dress.

            "That should help you." she said about the drink.

            "Yes, indeed it does." he said about the dress.

            "Uh…I think we should go now, Luigi. I talked to Mario and he told me you need to—"

            "Now you wait just one minute," he grabbed her hand. "You spoke to… ..Mario?    Please, Peach, I can't stand seeing you punish yourself like this,"

            "I did speak to him!" she snapped. "He told me you need to go south…then east….then north…."

            Luigi gazed at her in shock. "He did? Then….then you did speak to him. You wouldn't know that otherwise..." He looked down shaking his head in disbelief and wiped more built up sweat from his brow. "Means just what I suspected about that Sergeant Toad."

            "What?"

            "Kamek's behind all of this. He has finally succeeded at destroying my brother…he thinks. But I have discovered a way to bring back Mario. What we must do now is go back to Sub-Con to collect seven hearts Mario left there."

            Peach freaked, recalling the terrible conditions when they went to Sub-Con.

            "I specifically remember telling him to take them along just in case." said Luigi. "But he left them, can you believe that? My brother thinks he is so invincible that he ignored me when I urged him to use those hearts as a back-up just in case anything like this ever happened here….and now where is he? I'm sure he is in no Mushroom Heaven—"

            "Luigi!" Peach scolded.

            "Sorry to say it but you know well as I that my brother wasn't exactly angel material to begin with,"

            Just as Luigi was about to say something else derogatory about Mario, shroom pellets blasted behind him, some of them even penetrated the metal grill and others ricocheted off the panels.

            "Let's go!" he moved quickly within the tight space, taking Peach by the hand, hoping to get her out of harms way and to the nearest exit—through whatever ceiling that might have been. "This way…" he said, taking her left and then right and then left again, and the miracle they needed came true when he spotted a ray of light at the end of the shaft. When they got to the end of it, he opened up the vent and jumped down, then helped Peach get out. Indeed this place was a good escape—as a matter of fact it was some sort of secret exit leading to an underground tunnel.

            When they came out on the other side there was gravel and a small bubbling lake.

            "Can you believe it?" said Luigi as he could hardly believe his eyes. "…Choco Mountain….here, we are standing on the track."

            Peach always thought she knew every secret passage in her kingdom, but she didn't know this one at all.

            "Hey! Look out!" Luigi yanked her aside soon as a huge boulder came down, and thankfully, it tumbled right by them into the ditch below.

            Luigi took a deep breath and looked up the road which they would soon travel.

            "Well, are you ready for this, Princess?"

            "Ready as I'll ever be." she said eagerly, hiding her reluctance and went alongside Luigi on this voyage, doubting that they would be successful, yet keeping those thoughts strictly to herself.

Flour Cup 

        After breaking out of jail and freeing the other inmates, Bowser, Yoshi, Toad, and Wario went to the castle to see if anyone there had heard from Peach and Luigi, but no one at the castle knew anything except for what they'd heard on the Kingdom Eyewitness News Network.

            "Oh no," Toad bowed his head and started to cry. "That means they didn't get out. They've been killed!"

            "Stop that!" said Wario. "We can't be sure what happened to them. And I, Wario, don't have time to worry about that! I have other business to take care of!"

            Once saying that, Wario turned on his heel and ran off.

            "Eh hehehehe…Eh hehehehe….Eh hehehehe!" he laughed all the way out the door and down Castle Road and disappeared over the hills.

            "Well, good to see all this hasn't changed him one bit." said Yoshi. "So what should we do now, guys? I was just thinking…if we could all go out and get something to eat…or maybe order a huge pizza—"

            "We can't order pizza, you dummy." said Bowser. "Mario and Luigi are both gone. They were the only pizza suppliers in Mushroom World."

            Yoshi thought on it again. "Spaghetti?"

            "That too." said Toad.

            "Shrimp scampi?"

            "That too!" Bowser and Toad said in unison.

            Yoshi sighed. "Maybe some won-ton soup?"

            "They had the only connection to that too." said Bowser.

            "Wow.." Yoshi's hunger pains were throbbing by then. "Then what can we eat?"

            "Mushrooms." said Toad. "We've got plenty of those.

            "I hate mushrooms!….oops…no offense, Toad."

            Toad gave him a mean glower.

            "I think we should go in the kitchen and see what we can find in there." said Bowser.

            Being that it sounded like the best idea, the three of them went into the kitchen and looked around, finding many of the castle's toad guards busy sifting through bins of shroom flour.

            "AAAAH AAAAAAGH! What's going on in here?"

            "Worm search, Bowser." said one of the guards. "We've found more wigglers, so we're going through everything."

            Just what Yoshi didn't want to hear. "So I'm still not gonna get to eat."

            "Not 'til we clear out the kitchen, and first we have to sift all this flour."

            Toad and Yoshi and Bowser looked around the large kitchen seeing bins of flour from one end to the other, then a guard passed out sifters to each one of them. "Get to work, men."

            Meanwhile, Wario had rounded up a few of his goons and put his own personal plan into action.  It took him no time to circulate word around the kingdom about the kart races starting back up again, and within a matter of hours he had the billboards and neon signs, television, radio, and newspapers advertising his newest grand event—Wario Kart X-treme.

            With his newly found adventure, he redesigned all the tracks and battle courses to suit his needs, then rounded up his own list of players: Captain Syrup, Spearman, Cook, Grunt, Punch, Hen, Genie, and the Black Syrup gang to knock everybody around just to make things more interesting.  "Now, we have-a real kart racing!" Wario shouted, balling his fists in the air.  Now Koopa Troopa Beach was littered with sludge and dark gooey syrup that the kart's wheels would get stuck in if they got too close, Frappe Snowland was no longer a winter wonderland, instead it became a land of iceman giants who stomped anyone in their path. Kalimari desert was loaded with more than six trains, Yoshi Valley had flying turtles dropping big eggs and quicksand, all the guardrails on Banshee Boardwalk were taken out, and huge craters were pounded into Luigi's track and the Royal Raceway, yet he made his own Wario Stadium an absolute treasure, spreading golden nuggets all over the dirt tracks and making new shortcuts where only the luckiest of players would find stashes of rubies, emeralds, diamonds, and pearls. But the worst damage done by far was Mario Raceway, where Wario cut down trees, planted land mines, scattered nails and pellets all over, and rebuilt the famous tunnel, turning it into a large loop like a rollercoaster, but at the end each kart would go flying in the air and come down who knows where, and then he replaced Mario's red cap replica atop the stadium seats with a big fat Wario statue...

            Last but not least, he installed pit stops on all the tracks and hired his own goons as pit crews.

            "Now, we have a race! Lakitu, you have no need to stick around…we go when I say go!"

            Lakitu looked angrily at Wario then took his signal and floated away.

            "Alright troops!" yelled Wario as he came first to the starting line and waited while everyone else fell in behind him. "GO!"

            "Hey, where's Mario?" said one spectator to another. "I thought this was called Mario Kart?"

            "Didn't you read all the billboard signs and messages in the sky from those airplanes and hear the announcements on the radio and see the stories on television? This isn't Mario Kart anymore, It's Wario Kart X-treme."

            Disappointed that she wouldn't see Mario, the fan got up and headed home, even losing the inflated fifty-five dollar ticket charge she'd paid at the gate. But for most of the other people who came to watch this event, it was probably one of the most thrilling they'd ever seen in the history of Mushroom Kingdom kart racing, and they stayed glued to their seats watching Wario thump his enemies with gold pellets and wipe them out with his oil slicks and smack them with exploding shells. And the karts(that initially belonged to the players of Mario Kart) actually took damage when they were hit.  First one to suffer the curse of Wario X-treme racing was Captain Syrup—recipient of Mario's shiny red kart. Now the once brilliant piece of machinery was mangled like a pretzel.

            "Eh hehehehe!" Wario laughed his way into first place at the finish line and was followed by cheers from his newly won fans. "It's-a me, Wario! I will rule the world of kart racing in the Mushroom Kingdom forever! Mario is-a no more!"

            And Wario went on to defeat his enemies round after round in the 150cc level, celebrating with barrels of champagne and some of the most gorgeous women in Mushroom World, then he bought more karts—ones that would handle 200cc and above—enabling death-defying speeds and some pretty bad accidents, but Wario was very well satisfied with this, getting most of the gold cups and applause, not to mention knowing all the shortcuts in his own motorcross stadium, therefore giving him the advantage at finding all the precious jewels. As a token of appreciation to his enemies for allowing themselves to be humiliated by him, he presented them all with pure gold medals, paid the pit crews, lighting and tech folks, and all other event organizers and personnel with cold hard cash, then ran off with millions in profits, forgetting everything that had happened before this, and went into seclusion where he could continue his plans to take over and eliminate whatever was left of Mario's lucrative gaming empire.

(hmmm…a huge market for Super Wario?…Super Wario Sunshine? Super Wario Bros. Melee.? Wario Teaches Bad Behavior?….) ....**_On to the last chapter! YAHOO!!!!!_**


	9. ch9

Welcome To Mario Kart, Part 9

("I do apologize to everyone for killing Mario in this story." says Peach. "I promise never to do it again."    Yeah, right.  ….Oh well, isn't it amazing that even in the magical Mushroom Kingdom there is life, and death, and life beyond death?  Kinda spoils the "Big Bang" theory again….  And to everyone who has read and/or reviewed this fanfic, I give you all a huge THANKS!)

War Cup 

            "Look at this place." Luigi took a look around at the vast fields in a remote section of Sub-Con. "They are growing vegetables here like never before! Look! Tomatoes….carrots….is that spinach?"

            "Well, I guess so." said Peach tiredly.

            He turned after hearing sorrow in her voice. "You okay, Peach? You don't sound like yourself."

            "I'm fine." she answered. "Just fine."

            But he could tell by her tone that she wasn't fine, as a matter of fact he detected a hint of hostility directed right at him.

            "Have I done something to upset you?"

            "No." she said. "You haven't."

            He paused for a moment, noting how she wouldn't dare look him the eyes. "I don't believe you. I don't know what's going on but I'm sure you are angry for some reason. And I don't know why, but it seems you have been angry at me since we woke up this morning."

            She turned away from him and mumbled something.

            "What?" he asked.

            There was no answer. Her arms were folded and she pulled away when he tried grabbing her.

            "What is it? Why are you acting like this? You don't want to talk to me after I have brought you this far? That's not exactly being grateful, now is it, Peach?"

            Finally she turned to face him. "You brought me this far! Oh really? So you've dragged me all over this place searching for these hearts…which by the way you don't have any idea of their whereabouts….and you make me sleep in that awful damp cave with you snoring all night long! My hair's a mess! My clothes are dirty! And I haven't had a bath in two days! You know, before all of this happened I was starting to think Daisy and you were perfect together because I always thought you were the perfect gentleman! Now I see that's not so! And now I'm sorrier than ever that I killed Mario! He always takes good care of me whenever we go on adventures together!"__

            Luigi stood back, appalled by what she had said to him. Here he was, doing his damnedest to bring back his brother just because she wanted him back….

            "Well, I guess that gets everything out in the open, doesn't it? You know, Peach, just maybe you should stop trying to compare me to my brother. Mama-mia…you and me wouldn't be doing this if you hadn't killed him in the first place—"

            "I hate you, Luigi!" she yelled.

            "Well then I hate you too, Peach!" he yelled back.

            She retaliated. "That's Princess Toadstool to you!"

            "Fine….Princess!" he sneered. "We go find the hearts now, and we don't stop until we have all of them! Then we can go back to Mushroom World and bring my brother back…then I can go back to Sarasaland where I have a woman who I treat very well…thank you very much! And my brother can come back to you…and believe me, I will feel very sorry for him!"

            Luigi was lucky to catch her hand just before she smacked his face.

            "That's it." he said after releasing his tight grip on her wrist. "Let's go. I have nothing else to say about this, Princess. You might think I don't know how to find these hearts but you had better stick with me unless you would like to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom as a ghost too."

            Without another word spoken Luigi tossed his backpack over his shoulder and started walking. He had gone about ten steps when Peach finally came following behind him.

Mario Tarts 

            Fighting fire with fire was never so evident as when Toad decided to make money for the Mushroom Kingdom by baking cakes, pies, cookies, and other sweets to sell, all wrapped and sealed with a stamp of Mario's jolly face on the package. This was all Toad's original idea, his intention being to make sure the people never forgot who was responsible for their kingdom's flourishing prosperity throughout the years. He also made memorabilia such as t-shirts with the Mushroom Kingdom's entrance on the front, coffee mugs with Princess Toadstool's royal crown, and backpacks for children with an emblem of Luigi giving a thumbs up. He also decided to expand the market beyond the Mushroom Kingdom, and he finalized a contract that gave permission to market bob-omb candies to grocery chains on Earth.

            "Wow." said Yoshi. "Have you seen this? It's amazing, Toad. People are buying this stuff, and you're making millions for us. We just might be able to take over everything Wario's bought out and get this place back to normal after all."

            Toad was less than enthused about this though. It made no difference that he had been a very involved part of this operation to restore the good to the Mushroom Kingdom and remove evil—namely Wario—he couldn't even manage to smile anymore because he missed the princess so much. And he missed Luigi, too. No matter how hard he tried saving his beloved kingdom from ruin, he knew deep in his mushroom heart that it would never survive if the princess wasn't around to rule over it and the Mario Brothers weren't around to protect it.

            "You know what, Yoshi? Last week I saw someone on the street holding up a sign."

            "Oh really?" Yoshi was still full of spunk. "So did it have the prices of all your products on it?"

            "No," said Toad from the short stool beside what had once been Princess Toadstool's throne. "It said The End Is Near."

            Yoshi, who had been so positive about everything up to this point, didn't quite know how to respond to that. "The end? You mean the end of a particular low point in our lives? Or The End, like it says at the ending to Super Mario 64?"

            Toad gave him looks that could kill. "Y'know, Yosh, I've been patient with you all throughout this escapade of ours, but now you're starting to get on my nerves. I'm talking about the fact that Princess Toadstool and the Mario Brothers made this place what it is…with a little help from us of course. But it's a fact that things won't be the same without them. Maybe it's time I stopped waiting and just packed up my bags and headed out to Kalimari Desert and caught the next train out. You know they run more frequently now that Wario's taken over."

            "But Toad!" Yoshi said in a panic. "Where would you go? You can't do this! This is your home and you've never been anywhere else! If you leave, I'm going too!"

            Toad got up and went to the stairs. "Okay, then you're going too. It doesn't make a difference to me."

            Strange how it was when Toad and Yoshi got to the train station and saw so many other people there heading out as well.  There was King Bob-Omb and the Shy Guys and Culex and…..was that Smithy?  Then Yoshi looked past the newly installed electronic news stands and wondered what was going on when he saw a herd of goombas and koopas coming through.  Then he realized what was happening when he saw the back of a big spiky shell.

            "Bowser!" he nudged Toad and pointed in that direction. "I can't believe this! He's leaving too!"

            Toad just shrugged and bought his train ticket.

            A few minutes later, train 405 pulled into the station and stopped to unload the few passengers coming back to the Mushroom Kingdom.  Sure enough, three people got off. One was an attorney hired by Wario to assist with all the legal brouhaha, another was from the Kingdom's Department of Internal Associations—put into action to investigate anyone if they ever tried overthrowing Wario, and a landscape artist who would redesign the entire kingdom to suit Wario's expensive tastes.  _"I want streets paved with gold just like heaven!"_ he reportedly told the landscaper.

            "All aboard!" The train attendant called out.

            "Wait!" someone yelled behind him. "We're coming!"

            Yoshi cocked his head, hearing that familiar peachy voice….

            At that moment was a brief silence as the door of the first car opened, and out came not one, but two people, and Toad's eyes brightened when he saw that the first person to come out of the train was Princess Peach Toadstool!  Then came Luigi right behind her!

            "Ya-hoo!" yelled Toad as he ran around everyone else to greet her, and he jumped right up then put his little arms around her waist. "Princess! Princess! You're back! I can't believe it! You're back!…" Finally he let go and looked up at her as she gazed down at him with her always beautiful eyes.

            "Hello, Toad." she said. "I'm so glad to see you."

            Luigi then came from behind her and immediately took the backpack from his shoulder and put it on the ground, then opened it to show them a small golden case. "And guess what we have everyone….…Seven hearts! With these, we bring back Mario!"

            Cheers rang throughout the platform and inside the train station, and then was a big celebration including lots of balloons, confetti, and pizza parties.

            As all the festivities were going on throughout the kingdom, Peach returned to the castle with Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi.

            "Princess?" Toad whispered into her ear just as she was about to go upstairs to her room. "Did you take a bath at all while you were in Sub-Con?"

            She frowned. "No, Toad. I didn't."

            "Oh, you mean Luigi didn't sneak you into that secret creek like Mario did? Well, that's okay. Everyone was so glad to see you come back that I'm sure no one even saw all that dirt on your face and clothes or noticed that your hair is really a mess. Anyway, I've made you a nice bath, Princess. So you can relax for a while."

            "Thank you." she said exhaustedly. "Tell Luigi to come up in about an hour with the gold case. I'll be ready then."

            "O-kay!" Toad replied, then Peach went up to her bedroom and closed the door.

That's-a Mario, With An M 

            The Kingdom Eyewitness News Network reported all celebrations cancelled and a ten o'clock curfew activated, and anyone caught out after that would be locked up in the newly built jail facility run by Wario's honorable Brotherhood of Latte Guardsmen.

            "I can't stand this anymore." Luigi said to Toad and Yoshi, then he got up with the gold box he had been so carefully guarding in his hands, and he left them there to watch the rest of the network news special, Chaos In Mushroom Kingdom.

            A few moments later he came to the fancily engraved door of Peach's bedroom, and he knocked three times then waited. The door opened slowly, and the princess stood there inside her room, all cleaned up and dressed in a shimmering pink royal gown and the sparkling gold crown on top of her head, and there was a luscious scent surrounding her, something like peaches with a dash of cream, he thought, and the bitterness that had been eating away at his gut because of his anger with her finally started to ease,

            "You…you look stunning, Princess. I am ready when you are."

            Peach gave a nod then allowed him to come into her room, and she gently closed the door behind him.

            "I think we should do this as soon as we can." he said, bringing the box to her nightstand and had almost put it down when she stopped him.

            "No, not there," said Peach. "Over there, on the small chest near the window."

            He followed her command and took the box to the chest and carefully placed it in the center, then turned to see Peach.

            "Are you alright, Princess?"

            She stood silently for a second, then went to him and grasped his hands. "Please, Luigi, you don't have to call me that anymore. I'm sorry, okay? I'm very sorry for what happened…Let's forget what happened, alright?"

            "Yes, let's forget." he said.

            After another pause, she confided in him. "I'm a little nervous, Luigi."

            "I can tell. But you have nothing to be nervous about, eh?"

            He snuggled her in his arms for a moment, the way he had refused to when they were in Sub-Con.

            _…I'd kiss you right now if you did not belong to my brother…_

            "What?" she said.

            And Luigi was startled, not realizing he had spoken his thoughts aloud.

            "It's time to bring back my brother.." he said quickly, covering for his awkward mistake, and he released her so she could go to the box and begin the magic spell that would join the hearts with the stars…

            First, Peach opened the window.

            Next, she knelt in front of the chest, opened the box..

            A slight breeze blew in and Luigi stepped back, watching as she seemed to go into a deep daze, put her hands together like she was praying, then closed her eyes.

            The seven transparent hearts rose magically from the gold box, and the room darkened until the only light were seven stars that appeared in a circle, spinning above her head, and the hearts soon joined with these stars, making a strong electrical hum.

            A force of air almost knocked Luigi off his feet, but Peach, she was still kneeling while the winds kicked up and strange distorted images flashed all around them, and it felt like being pulled through a huge tunnel of digital effects, sparks flying, streaks of light flashing in the air; he could hardly breath, the pull was so strong. And suddenly Peach let out a horrific scream then collapsed again, almost the same as she had on the day she killed Mario.

            The winds stopped.

            The room was bright again.

            The gold box was closed, as was the window.

            There were no hearts.  No stars.

            And everything else around them seemed like nothing had changed at all.

            Luigi went to Peach, knelt down on one knee to pick her up and carried her to the bed.

            "Peach?" he said her name very quietly. "Peach….it's over now.  I don't know what you did…Please, wake up……please…" 

            He kept shaking her until she finally opened her eyes.

            "Everything is fine" he said reassuringly, although he really wasn't sure.

            All of a sudden she sat straight up and look around her. "Mario?"

            Luigi didn't want to answer, but he had no choice. "No, he's not here."

            She just bowed her head and started to weep.

            "It didn't work," said Peach. "I've failed. I couldn't bring him back, Luigi….I couldn't…" then she reached for him and cried a flood of tears upon his shoulder.

            "All that for nothing." said Yoshi after watching the news special. "Wario's gone through all this trouble to make headlines and it wasn't even worth it. That news was more boring than ever. I think they could've done better than that."

            Toad didn't give it much attention. "I wonder how the princess and Luigi are doing? They should be coming down in a minute."

            "Hey, Luigi!"

            Toad shot up when Yoshi yelled out Luigi's name, and he couldn't wait to hear the best news yet,

            Then he noticed the less than joyous look on Luigi's face, and he saw the Princess standing next to him looking like tears were in her eyes.

            "So where is he?" asked Yoshi. "Where's Mario?"

            Luigi shook his head. "We don't know what happened. I guess the hearts…they didn't work.."

            "What?" Toad popped up from the chair in a fury. "What do you mean the hearts didn't work? ….Princess? What went wrong?"

            Peach didn't say a word, just walked across the room and sat down, facing away from all of them in disgust with herself.

            "Oh man…" went Yoshi. "Bummer. Can she try it again?"

            "Yoshi!" went Toad.

            "I was serious!" said Yoshi.

            "No," Luigi answered. "She can't try again. The hearts are gone. She did the best she could…"

            "Hey Luigi! Come here! I found loads of flour in-a the kitchen—"

            Toad, Luigi, Yoshi, and Peach all looked at the same time at the one they had all been waiting so long to see,

            "Mario!" Peach leaped from her seat and rushed to throw her arms around him.

            "Whoa…Princess!" Mario caught her and held his balance even though she had just about tackled him. "…What's gotten into you? Not in front of everyone!" and he held his arms away from her body as not to touch her, not only because he wasn't supposed to in front of the others, but because shroom flour was all over his fingertips.

            "EEEEEE!" she chimed with excitement.

            "My goodness….I don't know what this is, but Princess," he lowered his voice and spoke into her ear so no one else would hear. "..if you come-a over to my place a little later, you can finish what you started…"

            "Mario!" Luigi said cheerfully as he went up to the happy couple. "How good it is to see you again, brother!"

            "Yes." Mario said, wondering if Luigi must have lost his mind.

            "Yeah!" yelled Toad. "This is great!"

            "It's all over for Wario now that we've got you back!" said Yoshi.

            Mario stopped Peach before she got too romantic on him and stepped back to see them all. "Wait a second. Now that you've got me back. What? Where did I go?"

            "Uh…you were….dead?" said Yoshi.

            Mario looked stunned.

            Then Luigi started rambling. "He means you were technically dead but not really because you were always with us even though you—"

            "Hold it. I don't remember being dead. Now I know I can't remember everything but I would definitely remember a thing like that…and if I was dead, as you say, who killed me?"

            Toad, Luigi, and Yoshi zipped their lips, and Peach put on a front of innocence while Mario warily studied each one of them.  He then lowered his shifty brows and looked right at Peach.

            "You? You killed me, Princess?…" Alas he began rehashing the past. "I remember you tried to kill me…but I don't remember you succeeding."

            "Well do you remember everything going blank?" Yoshi popped up out of the blue.

            They all looked cross at Yoshi, then Mario's eyes fell on Peach.

            "I don't know what would have made you want to kill me, Princess…after everything I have done for you." said Mario. "And you've been hiding all that flour in your kitchen when me and Luigi could have used it for pizza dough and pasta."

            Luigi then stepped forward and pulled Peach back to speak with his brother. "Do not blame her. It wasn't her fault. It was a wiggler in the shroom flour that we now know was planted by Kamek. Even you knew. You came to the princess as a ghost and told her."

            Unable to think straight or get a good idea of what they were all trying to tell him, Mario just tried shaking off all this madness and regained his composure.

            "I don't know what kind of tricks you are all playing, but me…I am ready to continue with the kart races, that is if you all promise me you will play fair."

            They all seemed to agree.

            "Especially you, Princess." Mario added. "I can forgive you for hiding all the flour, but from now on, when I win, instead of trying to kill me, all you have to do is accept it, and of course congratulate me afterwards…"

            All would have been fine if he had not said that, because Peach's expression turned ice cold and she walked away in a snit, now prepared for war.

            "I give up." said Luigi. "If she kills you again, you'll have deserved it."

Select Player 

            The entire stretch of Mario Raceway had been trashed.

            Koopa Troopa Beach was a syrupy sticky eyesore.

            The once beautiful Royal Raceway was polluted with debris and the pavement full of pot holes.

            Even Rainbow Road had been ruined with Wario's idea of self-promotion, as all the flashing neon signs were renderings of his face.

            "No….." Mario kept saying over and over again. "…No….no….no…I can't believe this….I just can't….  And I can't believe he replaced my cap with a statue of himself!  Where is he? Where? I will tear him apart piece by piece!"

            _…you can't do that…then you'll be putting yourself on his level…._

            Mario stiffened and looked all around him.

            "Hey, who said that?"

            _…it's me…you're conscience…_

            "Me?" Mario looked up somewhere and pointed to himself as he stood in the living-room back at home. "My conscience? You mean I have one of those, too?"

            _….barely…_

            "What?"

            _….nothing…the best thing for you to do now is put all of this behind you, rebuild the tracks and start the races again…_

            Mario looked around him and thought on it, "Go away, conscience…or whoever you are…I don't need you anymore…"  Then he went to his armoire, opened it, and took out a small wooden box that he opened up, then picked up two small vials of shell explosives he had stolen from Peach's bedroom earlier in the day. Actually, they were her last two, but she wouldn't be needing them anyway.

            With a sinister eye, Mario went back into the cabinet for a clean pair of gloves so he wouldn't leave any fingerprints on the big yellow bomb that would blow Wario to smitherines when he came in at fourth place….

            The races started again after a massive cleanup and the removal of Wario from his corrupted reign of power, then all the tracks were restored to their original beauty, and the Mushroom Kingdom was made safe for habitation once again.

            And indeed, it happened.

            Right at the end of the very last race: Rainbow Road, 150cc.

            The crowd cheered Peach who earned the gold cup with grace.

            Toad took the silver.

            Mario got the bronze.

            And Wario…he got the big yellow bomb.

            The thing followed him over the hill with the bad loser music, then it exploded with a fierce strength that blew the yellow cap right off his head, and not one person felt pity for him when he cried "WAAAAAA," all the way up then crash-landed flat on his back..

            After that, Wario was tossed onto a stretcher and hauled off to the Mushroom Kingdom Medical Center in an ambulance. Lucky for him, he survived.

            And yet Peach, who was being showered with roses and confetti, looked over at Mario as he signed autographs and kissed little babies, and she knew he had taken the vials and used them in Wario's bomb, but she wouldn't dare say a thing because if she brought that up, her conscience would force her to tell Mario that she had used more than twenty of them just before killing him…

            "Luigi?"

            "…Wha….wha…  Oh, Mario? Sorry, I must have dosed off."

            "How can you sleep through all of this music and dancing and celebration?"

            Luigi then sat up straighter in the comfortable lounge chair, and he looked around him, seeing all the people on the dance floor and pizzas being carted to the tables and the bubbly flowing into wine glasses.

            "Well, I guess I'm just a little tired from all we've been through."

            "Yes," Mario sat down in the chair beside his brother. "I know about what happened at Sub-Con. Peach told me. And I must say it doesn't surprise me one bit. You know, Peach…she is very difficult sometimes."

            Luigi didn't really agree, but didn't disagree either.

            "It takes a little more effort with her than it does the average woman…" Mario continued. "…Of course, I know how to keep her in line."

            There was a pause before Luigi spoke.

            "You amaze me, brother. You talk about the princess like she is your handmaiden and she worships you. You are foolish to think that about her. She's a very smart woman, Mario. If you don't watch out, someone just might steal her away from you."

            "Oh," Mario sat forward, intrigued. "Really? Is that a personal warning…from you…little brother?"

            A waiter came around and Luigi picked up his glass and raised it up to let the bubbly flow in.

            "I guess she didn't really tell you about everything that happened in Sub-Con after all. Like I said before, Peach is a very smart woman."

            Mario became instantly angered and got up. "I ever catch you with her, I'll kill you!"

            Then Luigi stood, glass in hand. "Well then, you may as well kill me now!"

            The brothers immediately went for each other, Luigi taking the first punch and then breaking his glass of over Mario's head, then Mario jabbed Luigi once in the stomach and someone nearby screamed, then everyone got up from their seats and started cheering for one brother or the other, "MARIO! MARIO!"  "LUIGI! LUIGI!" while they kept punching each other, and then people started placing bets,

            "Mario!"

            All the commotion stopped, as well as Mario who was tangled in Luigi's chokehold.

            "Luigi!"

            Luigi quickly let go when he saw the princess.

            "I'm shocked at both of you!" said Peach as she went to them. "How could you act like this in public! Mario, I order you back to the castle right now!"

            Then all of sudden, Princess Daisy came out from somewhere in the crowd.

            "And Luigi, I order you back to Sarasaland!"

            Mario and Luigi just looked at each other, then Mario whispered to his brother, "Wow, this isn't such a bad ending after all, eh, Luigi?"

            But Luigi wasn't so sure. "I don't know, Mario. I'd say by the looks on their faces, we are both in big trouble…"

Finale 

            Now that the Mushroom Kingdom was once again a magnificent land of humble mushroom houses, fluffy clouds, crayon skies, rainbows, flower gardens, and of course the Royal Castle, the citizens were more at ease knowing they were protected by the fabulous duo of the Mario Brothers, and the kingdom's government was stable under the rule of Princess Toadstool. Children played freely in the streets again, the Kingdom Police Headquarters had a new sergeant to replace the cruel Sergeant Toad, and finally Luigi settled down with Princess Daisy in Sarasaland(after she made him spend a two week vacation in northern Sarasaland at her parent's house), and Mario…well…the princess confined him to her huge kitchen, where he was forced to knead dough and cook more pasta than he'd ever seen in his lifetime for all the dignitaries who came to the royal dinners.

            "Sorry, Mario." said Toad, guarding Mario as the princess had commanded him. "I hate this as much as you do. I guess I better warn you that her uncle Rochester's coming next week, and he's a huge pasta lover!"

            Toad seemed to be giggling inside and Mario cut his eyes but could do no more than keep making the pasta and despising himself for once again letting the princess get the upper hand—

            "Mario!"

            …speak of the devil... He thought to himself.

            Peach came rushing into the kitchen and hugged him for no reason. "I have wonderful news for you!"

            _…you are going to kill me again?_…

            She immediately pulled back, seeing that he was covered with flour from the tops of his shoes to the tip of his nose.

            "What did you say, Mario?"

            "…Umm…" he stumbled, not realizing he had spoken aloud just as his brother would do sometimes, "..You are happier than you have ever been?".

            "Well," She looked confused. "Yes, I suppose that's right, Mario. But that's not what I wanted to tell you. My uncle's not coming after all."

            On the inside Mario felt like jumping for joy and escaping this hellhole, but instead he just racked his brain for a good reply. "Not coming? Oh…well..I am so sorry, Princess. I know you were looking forward to seeing him….and, well I was looking forward to cooking for him."

            Peach took a second to respond. "Mario, have you been sneaking into my wine cellar again? My uncle is a prude. He makes me do stupid things like walk with a book on my head whenever he comes to visit. Anyway, he's given me a helicopter for my birthday! I thought we could go on a little trip…you know, the exotic getaway I've always wanted?"

            Alas, Mario let out a sigh of relief, jammed his fists in the air and went, "YA-HOO!"  He then yanked off the chef's apron and went running all over the kitchen in a frenzy. "I'm-a free! I'm free, everybody! I get to go on a vacation and leave this dreadful place!"

            And he danced around all the workers in the kitchen while they looked at him like he was a fool, and he spun around, kicking up flour, then slid on his knees right up to Peach.

            "When do we leave, Princess?"

            Peach was not at all amused by his circus act.

            "I think you need to make some arrangements first, don't you, Mario?"

            "Oh…" Mario, suddenly feeling like a real ignoramus, stood up and wiped the excess flour from his clothes. "..Oh yes. Arrangements. And very special indeed!" He said exuberantly, wanting so badly to please Peach this time. "You'll see, My Princess…This will be one trip you will never forget!"

Hey, You Very Good! See You Next Time! 

            On a very sunny day in the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Toadstool got her wish and was whisked away to exotic Sunset Beach.  But before leaving, Mario had made special arrangements to gather the citizens of the kingdom and all the players from Mario Kart 64—including Wario—and he opened the courses to all the people, especially children, for racing against their friends and families.

            "Welcome To Mario Kart!" was his official opening statement, then making sure to do things bigger and better(because that's just Mario's way), all the big screens were turned on for the fans to witness him slipping a huge star-shaped diamond ring onto Peach's finger, and the people of the Mushroom Kingdom cheered as the happy couple kissed, then the helicopter lifted off.

            "Wow, what a great day." said Toad as he waved from the podium and watched his princess on her first trip as a blushing bride-to-be.

            "Yeah, it is." Yoshi replied. "But think about it. We'll have to start calling the princess, Princess Mario. Won't that be kinda weird?"

            Toad kind of laughed and shrugged. "I don't know so much about that, Yoshi. I think we should probably just wait and see what happens on their vacation….if they get through it without breaking up again."

            In the meantime Mario instructed the pilot to fly over all the courses so Peach could see them all—Luigi Raceway, Moo Moo Farm, Kalimari Desert, Frappe SnowLand, Bowser's Castle, Wario Stadium, Sherbet Land, Royal Raceway, Choco Mountain, Yoshi Valley, DK Jungle Parkway, Mario Raceway(with the cap fully restored), Koopa Troopa Beach, Toad's Turnpike, Banshee Boardwalk, and Peach waved at the happy star on Rainbow Road, then the copter circled back and hovered above the Royal Castle one last time before heading up into the sunny Mushroom Kingdom sky.

_A/N: So what'd ya think, eh?_


End file.
